


message received

by agentmaine



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Dad Taako, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Social Media, Social Media AU, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22762447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentmaine/pseuds/agentmaine
Summary: Taako is a complicated overlapping of many things - first and foremost, he is a father. He is (sometimes regrettably) a content creator online, and a popular one at that. He is a friend and a brother and an incredible chef. Without admitting it, he is sometimes bored, and often lonely. He is much less intrigued by the shining stars of fame than he once was.Kravitz is many things tied together neatly - a funeral director, a hobbyist writer, a lover of classical music and dark coffee, a friend. He keeps to himself and is content, most of the time. He has never wanted the spotlight of fame. He is intrigued and empathetic and calm, usually.They meet by chance, a creator and a critic, and there is one common theme - it can be hard to admit that someone so different to you can sometimes be exactly what you need.--or, the taz social media au that started as a joke, and i got far too attached to.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Carey Fangbattle/Killian, Julia Burnsides/Magnus Burnsides, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 48
Kudos: 183





	1. nice to tweet you

Taako sits at his computer, finishing a final edit on the video in front of him in a state of half-consciousness, acutely aware that it is 10am on a Sunday morning and he has not slept since waking up at around 10am the day prior – it’s nobody’s fault but his own. Lucretia, his manager, is nothing but organised and fair with her schedules for him. She knows what’s best for the taakofromTV brand, having helped his channel and other social media grow from a comfortable little 10,000 strong community to what is today – a gathering of two million fans.

The thought makes him shudder and that, along with the silence-breaking _ding_ from his phone is enough to push his heavy-lidded eyes open. He takes a moment, stretching like a cat in the sun and rubbing his eyes before he gets his phone from the other side of his desk, grinning as he checks the notifications. His grin only widens, childlike in it’s bemusement, as he realises that it’s a text he’s been expecting for a while, ever since he enacted the genius (if he does say so himself) plot to get Garfield to trade him one certain item from his weird pawn shop.

**GROUP CHAT: tReS hOrnY BoIS**

**magnus:** taako i’m gonna kill you

 **taako:** what have i done now

 **taako:** actually don’t answer i don’t care as far as i’m aware i am perfect bay bee

 **magnus:** you took the fucking sword

 **taako:** what sword. idk any sword

 **merle:** Now, Everuone , lets. Remain calm – merle

 **magnus:** merle you don’t need to sign your texts off we know its you

 **magnus:** and taako you fuck I mean the sword from garfield’s place ive had my eye on for MONTHS it would have looked so good in my workshop

 **taako:** oh you mean my new coat rack?

 **magnus:** TAAKO

Taako laughs loud into the silence then, snorting as he imagines the _look_ on his friend’s face in that moment. He rolls his eyes much more fondly than he’d ever admit to another person and mumbles, “Dumbass.”

In the distance, small feet patter across the floor, attempting to be quiet. It doesn’t work, of course, and Taako’s ears prick up at the sound. As he expects, knowing both from instinct and routine, within another minute there’s exactly three polite raps against the door to his makeshift “office,” though it can hardly be called that, unless having a motivational cat poster amongst the chaos qualifies it.

“Dad?” A voice calls through the door, quiet and tentative.

“Hey, Agnes, come on in.” Taako calls back, rolling around in his spinny chair to face the door and smiling as Angus walks in, still dressed in his pyjamas and curly hair looking spectacularly unruly without its signature flat cap. Taako notes that behind his large, cartoonishly circular glasses, the boy looks tired, and it takes no detecting skills whatsoever to figure out that as Taako has stayed awake editing, his son has been up past curfew reading – again.

Taako is surveyed with a concerned frown almost immediately, the bags under his eyes and the signature ‘I don’t give a shit and/or I have shit to do’ tied-up hairstyle giving away his secret. Angus puts his hands on his hips, aiming to appear authoritative.

“Have you slept, Taako?”

“Nope. And if I were you, I’d think twice before questioning the _adult_ on his sleeping habits when yours are to be questioned too, pumpkin.” Taako smirks and cocks an eyebrow, placing his hands on his own hips to mimic Angus’ posture.

They stand looking at each other for a moment, mirror images at a standstill, feeling like cowboys ready to duel, before Angus cracks into a fit of cheerful giggles. “M’kay, you’re right. You shouldn’t stay up again tonight, though.”

“I know, boss. I’ll trance it out later, at some unimportant time. Maybe at your nerd presentation.”

“Hey!” Angus pouts, offended. “My science show isn’t boring!”

“I never said _boring_ ,” Taako emphasises, grinning once more as he opens his arms out and wraps Angus into a hug for a moment before ruffling his hair. “That one’s on you, chief.”

Angus’s mouth open-shuts for a moment before accepting defeat. “Shush. Can we have waffles for breakfast, please?”

“Of course, pumpkin. World’s best chef is at the ready – you run in there and get prepping, I’ll be through in just a minute.” He pulls back and presses an over-exaggerated kiss to Angus’ forehead before lightly shoving the boy towards the door. “Now shoo! Get on with it!”

Taako smiles to himself as he watches the boy – _his_ boy, he reminds himself, even after all these years – runs off to their kitchen. He takes a few minutes to check over the video before thinking, _fuck it_ , and uploading his newest creation, “ _i make the best brownies ever ft. crunchy ASMR”,_ another strangely messy video that he’s become known and loved for. He makes another glance over the video before stretching once more and following after Angus, tweeting as he goes.

**Taako, the Famous One @taakofromTV**

hail and well met my dudes I’ve been made aware of the subreddit r/fondanthate and I think I’ve found my people fuck that shit

**Lucretia @MadameDirector**

@taakofromTV Taako, what did we say about you trying to promote a more family friendly image?

**Taako, the Famous One @taakofromTV**

@MadameDirector Lucretia my dearest i always strive to be my truest self online and my truest self says both fuck and shit and especially fuck fondant

**lup @loooptaco**

@taakofromTV @MadameDirector lucretia babe usually I’d also dunk on my brother but in this case he is SO RIGHT

The silly twitter spat makes Taako smile before he puts his phone down as he cooks, as has become a routine for him. The flooding of inboxes with a tsunami of comments is too much at first, right after uploading a video. Reading responses is a bad habit he’s never been successful in breaking, much like biting his nails and picking at split-ends. When the world is watching, and when the world decides it has something to say, it’s hard to do anything other than listen. Taako is well aware that he likes his feedback positive and his viewers happy. He is also well aware that really, a dozen or so awful comments per video are to be expected.

He is even more aware of the feeling of anxiety that uploading still evokes in him. He ignores it, as he has learnt to do spectacularly well, immersing himself in the real and the now rather than retreating to where he knows he’ll find hate and dwelling on it, a _really_ unhealthy habit he used to have before Lucreita forced it out of him.

Instead, he makes his waffles for himself and his son, and they enjoy them together in the morning light, basking in the warmth inherent in good food and lazy mornings – even when those mornings are continuing on from the prior 24 hours of consciousness.

It’s hours later before Taako caves in and checks his messages on twitter, finding himself scrolling and scanning over tweet after tweet while he waits for Angus to be ready to go to his club. Most are praising him, which is nice. There are a few complaints here and there, but it’s rare and most appear to be from 12 year olds who really, at the end of the day, aren’t going to put too much of a dent in his self-confidence.

The praise is nice, of course, but not what catches his eye. For once, it’s not hate that makes him stop, either. Hate, the real sort, the _cruel_ comments rather than someone behind a screen not knowing how to relax, is what usually draws in the attention – there’s something fucked up about the psyche that makes you want to know why people hate you more than why they love you, Taako recalls his therapist saying, or something along those lines. But this… isn’t exactly hate.

**Kravitz @kravitz1010**

I think that taakofromTV, albeit a great entertainer and amazing chef, could learn a few more things about the science behind his work and the history behind his magic. I wrote my thoughts on myblog recently.

“Huh,” Taako says aloud, to nobody but himself. “Dude wrote a fucking _blog post_ about me.”

There’s something all too intriguing about it and before he knows it, Taako has read through the whole piece. He realises some things that are quite significant with a furrowing of his brow. The first happens to be that the writer, Kravitz, isn’t entirely wrong. Taako admits this to himself with a touch of regret, knowing that he doesn’t in fact know much about his magic (although he doesn’t use it that much in cooking, he argues back to the writer inside his head) and he knows maybe a bit less of the scientific side of cooking – what can he say, cooking wily-nilly has got him this far up until now!

The second thing, he realises, is that the writer is out of this world good looking. Like, _wow_ -level, and Taako has already looked through tinder for the day, meaning his standards aren’t compromised for lack of choice amongst a sea of egg avatars – this guy really, truly, is just gorgeous.

He does the only sensible thing a man can do: texts his twin sister.

 **me:** lup my heart I have a problem

 **less sexy twin:** yes my love? Is this serious or are you being dramatic as per usual

 **me:** its fucking serious lup

 **me:** i have allowed a man to hurt my feelings

 **me:** OVER TWITTER

 **less sexy twin:** D: ok not gonna lie dog that is unusual for you, what happened?

 **me:** i checked my indirects and a man has written a blog post on me and has made points that are true about me not actually knowing my sciencey shit. he made fun of when ango had to teach me some of the bullshit

 **less sexy twin:** …….you have millions of followers why do you check indirects

 **me:** for the ego boost, usually. or to laugh at direct hate

 **less sexy twin:** ok so if you laugh at direct hate, why has this gotten to you

 **me:** firstly the fact that hes kind of right

 **me:** secondly the fact that I looked at his account and lup he is……….. he is SO attractive lup

 **less sexy twin:** ……………….

 **less sexy twin:** you are a disaster, you know that, right?

 **me:** and you wouldn’t have me any other way

 **less sexy twin:** true. Don’t do anything i wouldn’t do.

The last message is _wonderfully_ open-ended, Taako thinks to himself with a grin that is near devilish – there isn’t much that Lup Taco wouldn’t do. There is, admittedly, a lot that she wouldn’t approve of Taako doing. This, he knows, all too well. But, hey, there’s no better way to follow rules than following them _technically_ , and _technically_ , Lup never said to avoid doing something she wouldn’t approve of.

Would she approve of Taako messaging this person? No.

Would she message a hot guy politely critiquing her creative content on his blog? Who’s to say.

And that’s good enough for him.

He pulls out his phone, thumbs moving quicker than any second thoughts or shreds of doubt and finds the tweet once more. Still moving quickly to prevent regret, he types out a quick reply and presses send. An action that feels satisfyingly final and decisive.

**taako, the Famous one @taakofromTV**

@kravitz1010 i am pouring over a physics textbook with the help of my 8 year old as I write this and will send a bouquet of flowers 2 apologise (u are right tho, and your writing’s good too. Thnx)

Surprisingly, Taako feels no immediate sense of dread, as often comes as a result of his rather impulsive decisions. Instead, he feels… excited, he thinks, somewhat confused. But, hey, a positive is a positive, he reminds himself, smiling to himself as he refreshes the man’s – Kravitz’s – twitter account, laughing aloud at the new tweet that pops up on the top of his screen.

**Kravitz @kravitz1010**

Oh. That was unexpected.

“I mean.” Taako mumbles, to nobody but himself, again, except now his cat sits at the end of the hallway. “Once more wouldn’t hurt.”

**taako, the Famous one @taakofromTV**

@kravitz1010 shhh 😉

It’s then that Angus comes running downstairs, dressed in his little lab-coat with his schoolbag and protective eyewear in his arms. “I’m ready! Sorry I’m late, Dad, I couldn’t find my glasses!”

“It’s alright, dingus, I doubt baby science club is gonna kick their smartest kid out for tardiness. Let’s get going, though, yeah?” He smiles and grabs Angus’s bag from his hands, ruffling the kid’s hair before leading out of the door.

-

Lup is at her home when she gets the notification on her phone, a buzzing sound showing her that her brother has tweeted. At first, she only gives it a bored glance, telling herself to look at it later, before doing a double-take so fast that it could have snapped her neck.

“I thought I told him not to do anything I wouldn’t do!” She says aloud, causing Barry to look up from across the kitchen, where he sits reading and sipping coffee.

“Uh, everything okay, babe?” He asks, concerned.

“Taako.”

“Ah,” he nods, understanding. “What now?”

“Twitter. He’s – I think he’s flirting with someone on _twitter._ ”

Barry chuckles, stifling it quickly once Lup sends him a cautionary glare. “Very classy of him. With all two million followers watching.”

“It’s someone who wrote a blog post about him. Gods help him, my brother does love the extravagant ones. I do not have the best feeling about this.”

Another buzz comes from her phone and Lup braces herself to see what Taako could possibly be doing _now_ , before relaxing slightly as she notices the text is from their shared manager and friend – Luc.

 **Luc <3:** What is your brother doing?

 **me:** being uselessly homosexual and dramatic

 **Luc <3:** Is there any way to reason with him, Lup? I don’t think interacting with random fans and potentially flirting with them is the most amazing look.

 **me:** has there EVER been a way to reason with taako

 **Luc <3:** I see your point.

 **me:** I’ll keep an eye on him

 **Luc <3:** You always do, Lup. Thanks.

She puts her phone face-down and takes a moment to take a deep breath. To most, a casual flirt would be nothing. To Taako’s fans and even his close friends, this could be nothing more than a creator interacting with a critic. But there is no sense nor gut instinct stronger than twin senses, Lup believes firmly, and she feels an unsettling feeling of something in the pit of her stomach, a feeling overwhelmingly associated throughout her life with Taako’s bullshit – it appeared when they were kids and he had got himself in with the wrong crowd, again in high school when he acted out, when he was on bad dates and in pain or up to other miscellaneous mischief.

The firm and unmistakable feeling of that unsettling something returning means only one thing, she reasons: pre-emptive damage control is necessary. Just in case.

She picks her phone up again and creates a new groupchat in a few quick taps, pausing only to shout to her husband, “Barry, check your phone in a minute, babe.”

**GROUPCHAT: lets talk about taako**

**lup:** hello boys

 **magnus:** what’s he done now. i swear I wasn’t involved this time

 **barry:** We know, Magnus. Don’t worry.

 **barry:** Lup’s already informed me.

 **lup:** taako thirst followed a guy on twitter

 **magnus:** …and?

 **lup:** it’s a fan. and he sent him a winky face. and i do not trust people to not hurt my brother because an enamoured taako sometimes loses all his wits

 **merle:** it could . BE NICe for him to. Find someone

 **lup:** it will be less nice if he finds a class action lawsuit my dude

With that, she puts her phone down once again but this time with a smile, despite herself. He may be a pain and worrying about him might make Lup have stress lines well before she needs them, but she can admit to herself - life would be a lot less fun without Taako's bullshit.


	2. a pinch of salt

Taako’s mantra in life, alongside the obvious of being _good out here_ , is that advice is always optional. That doesn’t mean it’s not welcome or appreciated or even (although he’d never admit it aloud) _correct,_ it just means that he doesn’t have to follow it. Often, he _should_ follow it – Taako is blessed with a diverse group of friends who are wise enough when put together to make at least one rationally-thinking person, which comes in as an extremely valuable resource in times of trouble.

But, at the same time… sometimes, or more honestly, often, Taako would much rather follow what he thinks is best, even when all evidence and advice points towards the contrary.

There’s got to be at least some value in trusting yourself, right?

This leads Taako to make the executive decision that despite Lup’s initial concerns and another few texts warning him to be careful, he should message Kravitz.

If he were asked to explain just _why_ he wants to message the man so badly, Taako would draw a blank. Call it an impulse, a feeling, a sign, whatever. There’s an interesting something inside him tugging him onwards, as if there’s a rope wrapped around his middle aiming to lead him in the right direction. The sensation of a pulling, a movement, is exciting. Taako likens himself to a crow – or is it a raven? Maybe a magpie?

Whatever it is, the meaning is simple – he likes new things. Shiny things. Different things. He likes a break from the monotony of day-to-day life. Hell, why on earth would he have worked his ass off to make a career online if the idea of a 9-5 job was anything other than fucking torturous to him?

The man who wrote a blog post _,_ a fucking _thinkpiece_ on him, is definitely something different and exciting and the inexplicable pull from fate or, realistically, poor impulse control, is something that Taako decides is to be followed and trusted rather than ignored. What harm could it do?

He listens to the pull and opens twitter, smiling as he goes straight to his direct messages and types in Kravitz’s handle.

**@taakofromTV**

hello crab sticks

He presses send before it can be regretted, and a grin forms wide on his face as three little dots pop up, showing that his writer-friend is already typing back.

**@kravitz1010**

Oh. Hello.

I really didn’t expect you to follow me from that. I’m sorry if I caused offence, I truly do like your content. (It’s Kravitz, by the way.)

**@taakofromTV**

no biggie my mans I hate to admit it but you’re kind of right

(and I know. crab stick was a joke)

**@kravitz1010**

Aren’t jokes usually meant to have a punchline?

**@taakofromTV**

OH you can bite back!

thank fuck for that, I thought i was about to be talking to mr. 100% polite

**@kravitz1010**

Are we about to be talking?

**@taakofromTV**

no I messaged you to say hello and then ghost

**@kravitz1010**

That’s still the most significant celebrity interaction I’ve ever had in my life.

**@taakofromTV**

one degree of separation from the big leagues now mr. funeral director

And just like that, time flies. The messages continue on with ridiculously easy banter flowing between the two of them and before he knows it and, admittedly, without anywhere near enough consideration or precaution, Taako has given Kravitz his number. He finds out quickly that, funnily enough, Kravitz lives locally.

He finds out that Kravitz is as polite and charming in conversation as he is in prose, and that’s nice, Taako thinks. It’s nice to talk to someone who doesn’t back down on his criticisms – Kravitz, in amongst the rest of their conversations over the course of the day, explains some of the things he feels as though Taako fails to understand.

To nobody’s surprise greater than Taako’s, Taako finds himself agreeing even more, and feeling a strange sense of appreciation. Odd, he thinks to himself.

Listening to someone’s advice.

He doesn’t fret himself over it, though. Instead, by that night, Taako’s head is working overtime thinking of something else. Earlier in the evening, he had mentioned in passing the idea of featuring Kravitz on his channel, joking that having a so-called “hater” appear would be hilarious. It was, at first, one message in amongst what had to already have spiralled into a conversation of a few hundred – in the space of a day, they’d touched base with topics such as the weather, the local area, Taako’s content, Kravitz’s life, even Angus. Taako was genuinely surprised with himself in mentioning Angus – he aims to keep Angus far separate from his online persona, allowing him in only a few videos. Even more, he keeps him far away from any fans.

He justifies it to himself in so that Kravitz isn’t a fan, anymore. He’s an acquaintance. He doesn’t address the strangely settled and calm feeling talking to Kravitz evokes, as if they’ve spoken many times before. When his thoughts wander there, he shuts it down quickly – Kravitz is very polite and well-spoken, is all.

The ingenuity of a collaboration was only solidified in Taako’s mind as he pressed send. He stopped and realised, actually, that it’s a baller fucking idea, and that he is a genius, and that he should never doubt himself, ever.

Once again: there really _is_ value in trusting yourself.

As a precautionary measure, Taako decides that it only makes sense to confirm Kravitz is a) a real person and b) not a murderer. The best way to do this, he decides, is through a FaceTime call. His other profiles check out well, they have a long history of frequent posts, followers and interaction rather than the empty or explicitly fake interactions of bot accounts. Still, it makes sense to check that Kravitz is who he says he is.

It, admittedly, takes a bit of work with the ol’ Taako Talent of Charisma to convince Kravitz to call to discuss the idea. If he were being fully honest, Taako would admit that the charisma didn’t fully work, so to speak.

Sometimes a bit of annoyance is necessary, and after three ignored facetime calls, Kravitz finally caves enough to pick up.

Through a laggy connection and a less than ideal frame rate and number of pixels on his screen, Taako can still compute that Kravitz is spectacularly gorgeous. He seems to be sitting in his bedroom, his phone propped up against something as he looks into the camera with a face unmistakably etched with nerves. His skin is dark and wonderfully clear, he wears a jumper with a logo of a college Taako can’t quite work out, his glasses sit at the end of his nose like a disapproving librarian and long dreadlocks are tied in a bun on his head neatly.

Taako, for a brief moment, forgets to speak. He recovers quickly, curses his homosexuality, and smiles bright. “Hey, crab sticks! You’re not a bot!”

“No,” Kravitz replies, his nerves as apparent in his voice as in his face for a moment before he smiles slightly. “Realistically, I could still be a deep-fake.”

“Oh dang, that computer shit? Sick.” Taako’s smile grows – he’s glad Kravitz is capable of making a joke, at least. “So, you’re like… robocop, basically?”

“The mortuary version of robocop, yes, obviously.”

“Cool beans. So, hey -- down to business. You _have_ to come and film with me. That’s not a request. I’ll pay you! And make you food, obviously. But you _have_ to.”

Kravitz sighs a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Why do you want me to do this, again? You met me today. It -- it doesn’t seem the safest or smartest to be inviting a stranger into your home. Let alone someone with no camera personality whatsoever.”

“See,” Taako smirks, smug. “If you were a murderer, you wouldn’t be warning me, would you, smartass? Plus, I just don’t think you’re the type to murder. You’re too polite.”

“Oh, yes, because murderers were never, ever charismatic.”

“Aha!” Taako shouts, triumphant, causing Kravitz to startle even over the phone. “So you admit to having charisma. That’s the camera-shy problem solved, big guy. Now, as for the murder bit, I imagine the cops will catch you uh, pretty fucking zippy, if you murder me. And also - I could and _would_ totally kick your ass, if it came to it.”

Kravitz says nothing, but looks unconvinced.

“What?” Taako laughs. “I may be a twinky son of a bitch, but I have _magic_ , remember. I don’t show it much online but I’m pretty fucking good, if I says so myself, which I do. I could missle you before you got hold of a kitchen knife.”

“Reassuring.” The man deadpans, leading Taako to laugh more.

“It is, isn’t it? Anyways. Listen, I know it might sound dumb or weird or, well, now that I think about it, _really_ fucking sketchy that a dude with two million followers is asking you, a stranger, to film with him. That’s fair, and if you’re like, super uncomfy, I’ll back off.” He pauses then, thinking of what to say next. “I just… have a feeling. If that makes sense.”

Through the phone, Kravitz studies him. Taako, with what little subtlety he has, studies Kravitz right back - he notices his room appears neat, he sees what looks to be a band poster on the wall, he sees a huge, _huge_ bookshelf - all good signs of a put together person who isn’t going to murder him. Maybe. Taako thinks to himself he really isn’t in any place to psychoanalyse the man through a facetime call, nor does he know what he’s looking for in the first place.

“Okay.” Kravitz says after a lifetime. “Yeah, sure. Why not? I’ll do it.”

“Oh! Fuck yeah! I totally thought you were gonna say no there, crab sticks, I won’t lie. But the Taako Charm wins once again.”

“Sure.” Kravitz smiles, somewhat awkwardly. “Can I ask, though, Taako… What do you mean by you _have a feeling_?”

“I don’t know.” He pauses for a beat, shrugging nonchalantly. “Just feels like it’s a fucking good idea.”

“Okay.” Kravitz nods, not pushing the issue despite sounding altogether confused and unconvinced. He smiles anyway, softly, before speaking again. “I’ll head to bed now. It was nice talking to you, Taako.”

“You too, skeletor. I’ll text you the deets and see you tomorrow.”

With that, Taako presses the end call button and relaxes into his bed, grinning. He feels like a fucking businessman having negotiated a life-changing trade-deal - as soon as he thinks that, he shakes his head, breathing out sharp through his nose in a fake laugh. _Life-changing._ Slow down, Taako, he thinks to himself, don’t go acting all bigshot because you organised one collab without Lucretia. Speaking of which, he also remembers, she’s probably gonna be pissed about that.

As he begins to doze off to sleep, head clouded with the amalgamation of the day’s concerns and tomorrow's duties, he hears a _ding_ from his phone. 

**crabitz:** Are you sure that this is a good idea, Taako? I don’t think I’m funny enough for your brand.

**me:** hahahaha you think i have a BRAND? Oh that’s precious

**me:** I shit out a video idea whenever it comes to me!! I made mac n cheese at 3am while speaking fluent thieves cant and got a million views. i cant explain it

**crabitz:** People are just enamoured by you, I suppose.

**me:** can’t blame them. Anyways fuck your insecurities, be at mine for 4, we can film this shit. what are the fuckin chances of you living 20 minutes away huh?

He smiles as a final message comes through, another goodnight message from Kravitz. It feels good to have talked to him properly, Taako realises, with a slight warmth in his chest. He drifts to sleep content, looking forward to making something tomorrow - at the back of his mind he cringes to himself slightly, realising he might want to make a friend from this, just as much as food and a video.

-

The next day, Taako is pleasantly surprised when Kravitz arrives not on time, but 3 minutes early, stood outside his door like an anxious teenager ready to meet his prom date. Taako opens the door with bravado, ignoring the slight pit of anxiety in his stomach - he has no reason to distrust Kravitz, he seemed perfectly fine on the phone and after a quick glance up and down, is exactly who he says he is.

(Still _incredibly_ hot, Taako thinks to himself, then tells himself off, then admits that he’s allowed to enjoy the view subtly and respectfully - it’s not flirting, it’s just a fact.)

The anxiety, he reconciles with himself, is probably from the fact that Angus is still in the house after a babysitter cancelled last minute. He’s under strict instructions to stay upstairs, just in case, until Taako says otherwise. But, hey, he thinks to himself, better to be polite first.

“S’up, crab sticks? Welcome to casa del Taako. You excited?” He beams.

“Ecstatic.” Kravitz deadpans before smiling ever-so-slightly, “Can I come in?”

“No, we’re baking on my lawn. Of course you can fucking come in doofus, that’s the whole point.” At that, Taako steps aside and welcomes Kravitz in with a wave of his arm and a bow. The man enters cautiously, looking around as subtle as he can. Taako notices this immediately. “You’re allowed to look, my dude. I’m no fuckin’ interior designer though, so don’t get your hopes up.”

“Oh. Huh? Sorry, yes.” Kravitz is snapped back into the real world at that and he points at a photo on the wall, one in which Angus sits on Taako’s shoulders and both are laughing so hard it hurts. “Is this your boy?”

“No, it’s a random kid I picked off the street for a photoshoot.” He chuckles and nudges Kravitz’s arm gently as he walks past him, leading the two of them into the kitchen. Kravitz follows politely. “Yeah, though. That’s my kid.”

As they enter the kitchen, Kravitz seems to stir confidence-wise as he looks around more obviously - Taako doesn’t blame him. He has a _gorgeous_ fucking kitchen. The man speaks up as they reach the island in the middle of it, Taako leaning against it casually and Kravitz not quite knowing how to hold himself. “It’s a very sweet picture of the two of you. He’s adopted, yes?”

“What gave it away?” Taako grins, pointing at his unmissable long, elven ears. “These badboys?”

“That, and the fact I’ve never seen or heard you mention a partner.” He’s matter of fact about it and remains awfully polite, Taako notices.

“I don’t know if that’s a dig at me being single, and I should be hugely fucking offended, or if that’s you flexing that you actually watch my shit.”

At that, Kravitz smiles properly for the first time since stepping into the house, his shoulders relaxing slightly, allowing him to appear less tense. “Maybe a bit of both. But before you get offended and kick me out, shall we… Well. What is it that you have planned for us to film?”

Taako stands straight then, smiling as he jumps into action. His camera is set up and ready - he thinks proudly of himself for that, being organised for once in his life. He moves around his kitchen with ease, grabbing the ingredients he needs effortlessly. It’s the one place in the world that Taako feels completely and utterly in charge. The world is a messy, confusing place, with hundreds of forces impacting upon every single moment. The butterfly effect is all but unavoidable and overpowering and if he were being honest, Taako, despite layers and layers of confidence and self-assurance projected to the world, would admit that he’s often very fucking scared of that.

In the kitchen, following his own recipes, navigating his own space, making his own rules - nobody in the entire world has control over him in that moment.

Except maybe Mary Berry, but Taako’ll let that one slide.

“We, my new friend, are making cookies.” He smiles proudly as he dumps the ingredients on the countertop, basking in the slightly terrified look on Kravitz’s face.

“Okay…”

“Trust me, it’ll be fun. Just be yourself, I’ll teach you how to be a baller fuckin’ chef, then you can teach me sciency stuff afterwards.”

“Hm. If you’re sure, Taako.” Kravitz nods, moving to where Taako stands and beginning to inspect the ingredients while Taako goes and switches on his lights and camera, mumbling a quiet _action_ under his breath as he does, before quickly moving back to Kravitz’s side.

He looks up at Kravitz, noticing that side-by-side, the other man has a somewhat significant height advantage on him. He flashes a smile up at him, charming, then speaks. “Watch how the professionals do their shit - you’re in the company of an expert my man.”

“I await your every move, boss.”

“Careful, tiger, my ego’s big enough.” Taako grins wider, sharp teeth flashing, before facing the camera. “Hail and well met, my gang. Today Taako is bringing you some fantastic new content with extra spice - I’m with a _hater_.”

“Well --” Kravitz begins, before he stops himself and lowers his voice to a whisper, as if the camera is a spectator. “Wait, am I allowed to interrupt?” After a laugh and a nod from Taako, he continues. “Well, I’d argue more a polite critic than a hater, Taako.”

“You say tomato I say tomato and also hater is better clickbait. Not that my beautiful audience fall victim to clickbait.” He covers his mouth with his hand and mouths an obvious _they do_ to Kravitz. “Anyways - this fucker has never baked before in his life, apparently. So we’re gonna do some wonderfully simple and fucking _delicious_ chocolate chip cookies. Wanna read off the ingredients list, big man?”

Kravitz smiles nervously, his voice catching in his throat as he speaks. “Uh, that’s uh, we need -- Gods above, Taako, I told you I was camera shy.”

“Adorable. Mommy bloggers will eat this shit up, Mr. Tall, Dark, Handsome and Socially Anxious.”

“Oh, be quiet.” Kravitz rolls his eyes. “I am uninterested in them, and don’t you _dare_ make a daddy bloggers joke, I’ve watched enough of your content to know you’re low enough to. Anyways. You need butter, light brown sugar, caster sugar, egg, vanilla, self-raising flour, chocolate chips… salt? Why do you need salt?”

“Oh my gods, young one, I have so much to teach you.” Taako laughs, leaning on the tabletop and placing his chin in his hand. “Do you not cook?”

“I cook brilliantly, thank you. I just don’t bake. I never had a sweet-tooth.”

“I’ll take that as a challenge - I’m about to Waitress your ass, Kravitz.” He grins, picking up the butter and sugars and beginning to measure them out by guesswork alone.

“Are you… are you referencing the romcom? And musical? That’s a breach of some personal boundary of mine, I think, but I’m not quite sure which one yet.” For a moment, Taako is worried, before he relaxes upon hearing Kravitz’s deep and admittedly wonderful chuckle.

“We’ll keep on working on pushing them sweet boundaries till we find the right one then, huh, sport? Anyway, get yourself the egg and vanilla, put that shit in the bowl.” He watches Kravitz do so, thinking to himself for a moment that he likes this guy, likes his energy, likes how he walks a line of awfully polite while also being able to bite back. While he’s lost in thought, he watches Kravitz chat away about how _disgusting_ raw egg is, or something of the sort.

Taako just smiles. “Doofus.”

“Ouch, rude. I’m new at this.” Kravitz cracks his knuckles, taking a second to step back from the bowl as he ties his hair up. “What am I supposed to be doing now?”

“Flour. Get sifting. And because I’m nice, and don’t trust your judgement, I’ve measured it. I’m gonna sit and straight up _chill_ while you do that.” Taako, ever true to his word, hops up onto one of the bar stools nearby and watches as Kravitz battles with a seiv for what appears to be either the first time in his life, or the first time in a very fucking long time. He moves like an alien trying to get used to a human body, Taako notices to himself, and stifles a laugh.

Taako had expected a mess - but not as much as what follows. Kravitz mentioned that he was camera shy but apparently forgot to leave the memo revealing the fact that he is a huge, huge clutz - in a second, before Taako can even begin to react, Kravitz stumbles slightly and dumps far too much flour absolutely everywhere. It puffs into the air like a smoke bomb mixed with a blizzard and blinds him for a moment as he begins to laugh hysterically.

Nearby, in front of the bowl, Kravitz lets out a squawk or squeal of some sort, his composed demeanour dragged out from under him like a rug. “Taako! Taako, I don’t - I think I fucked up, Taako!”

Taako falls off his chair laughing.

Hearing the commotion, Agnus runs downstairs, badminton bat in hand, wielding it as if it’s a weapon that could do anything at all similar to a speck of damage. “What’s happening?!”

“Oh gods, a child, oh god -- Taako, stop laughing, I think I’ve turned the mixer on, I don’t know what I'm doing, this is hell.” Kravitz's voice blurts out at a mile a minute, before he finally finds the off button on whatever device he managed to activate and composes himself sheepishly. “Um, hi, uh, Angus, is it? I’m Kravitz. Your dad - oh, gods above, I think your dad is on the floor crying. With laughter. Anyway, uh, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Taako’s hand reaches up and grasps the edge of the table, pulling himself up with another wheezing laugh as he uses his other hand to wipe tears from his eyes. “Holy shit Ango I am _so_ sad you missed that. This dude has just flour bombed our house.”

He takes a few deep breaths, composing himself, before turning to Kravitz and realising he needn’t have bothered as he bursts out into another fit of giggles, this time with Angus joining him.

“What?” Kravitz asks, brow furrowed. “Come on, guys, what? Is there - oh, there’s flour on me, isn’t there. Oh.”

The man rests his head in his hands, defeated like a warrior in battle, a gladiator failing at his grandest test - seriously, Taako thinks, that’s how overdramatic he looks. As he thinks this, Angus walks round the counter and sits himself on the chair Taako had previously occupied, directing the most charming of little waves and smiles at the camera as he realises his dad is filming.

Taako presses a kiss to the kid’s head quickly before taking a step closer to Kravitz, putting a hand lightly on his back, patting between his shoulder blades. “There, there, crabby patty. There, there. Lemme sort your face out.”

Kravitz straightens and looks at Taako with the closest to puppy dog eyes he’s ever seen on a grown man, and he’ll be damned if its not good enough acting to get his heart to ache for the smallest of moments. Kravitz’s nose and forehead are decorated with a huge stripe of flour, contrasted bright white against his skin tone comically. 

“Help,” he says somehow as pathetically as matter-of-factly.

“Taako to the rescue.” Taako smiles, using his sleeve to wipe off the mass of flour on the man’s forehead, reaching up on the top of his toes slightly to do so. He pauses for a moment, seeing the dot of flour on the tip of Kravitz’s nose. He could get it with his sleeve, easily, if he wanted, but without thinking, he wipes it carefully with his thumb.

Kravitz catches his eye as he does so. There is a definite and unmistakable glance downwards.

Taako quickly looks away and decides not to think about that again.

Angus looks at both of them and says nothing, but narrows his eyes ever so slightly, the perfect image of a detective looking for clues just under the surface.

Luckily for the ego and embarrassment of his father and father’s new friend, Angus is a child, and easily distracted. “Are you guys making cookies?”

“You bet, squirt. Want to help us finish them?”

Angus nods enthusiastically, and the rest of the baking is a blur. They pour in chocolate chips together and Kravitz adds the salt, admitting that he knows as little about baking as Taako does science, which fills the latter with a strangely victorious sense of pride. As the cookies go in the oven and fill up the room with a gorgeous smell and they begin to do the pots, Kravitz gives an admittedly endearing lecture on science.

Taako notices Angus looking up at Kravitz starry-eyed, mouth agape. He joins in the conversation about science and soon Taako is third-wheeling, doing mental gymnastics to follow his genius kid’s logic all the while feeling very, very proud of him.

As the cookies come out and cool down, they continue bantering, and Taako realises just how _easy_ it continues to be, and how very not-murdered he and Angus remain. It’s good all round, he thinks, and even better when he captures the look on Kravitz’s face as he tries the cookies for the first time.

“Holy sh-- Okay, no swearing, sorry Angus. But my _goodness_ , Taako, these are good.”

“Mhm.” Taako basks in the compliments.

“Some… baller cookies. Is that what you say?”

Taako bursts into another fit of giggles, the childish laughter coming easily. “Something like that, though it doesn't fit you as well. Aaaaand that’s where we’ll end the video. Go turn that off for us, Agnes.”

Angus does as he’s told, a cookie the size of his head in hand as rushes to go and turn the camera off. He turns round to Kravitz after doing so, smiling politely. “It was super nice meeting you, Sir!”

“The pleasure’s all mine, Angus. You’re very bright, you know that?” Kravitz speaks to Angus with endearing sincerity. 

“Oh! Thank you, sir! I hope I see you again sometime soon!” Angus stands up straighter at the compliment, beaming and blushing slightly. Taako notices fondly that although Angus standing tall adds an inch at best, he waves goodbye and walks out of the room as if he’s grown a foot taller.

Taako watches him leave and listens carefully for the pattering of feet going upstairs and the shutting of his bedroom door before he turns to Kravitz with a pointed look, eyebrows raised. “Dude. I think you’ve just made my own kid think I’m less cool. I thought I had until he was like at least thirteen before that happened.”

Kravitz scratches the back of his neck and shrugs, chuckling that quite wonderful chuckle once again. “I have no clue what just happened.” He pauses for a moment. “But this was fun, Taako. Thank you. I know you mentioned payment, but honestly? It’s fine. You mentioned my blog, which is more than I expected, and if you let me keep these cookies I’ll be more than happy with that.”

“You’ll be back for more in like two days, I’m telling you, bone dog. Those cookies are the most simple and most _beautiful_ shit ever.” Taako packs them up into a container, handing them to Kravitz. “You sure about the whole no payment thing? I can, like, get my manager to talk to you.”

“Don’t be stupid, Taako.” Kravitz smiles. “I’ve had a wonderful time. I do, sadly, have to be going though, I think. Thanks again.”

Taako nods, almost reluctantly, and he’s not sure why. He quickly grabs a few of Kravitz’s things for him as he leads the man to the front door. “You okay driving?”

“I am. Satnavs exist.”

“Smart ass. Nice to meet you properly, though. And thanks for proving I’m a dumbass to all my fans.” Taako nods, somewhat awkwardly.

“My pleasure.” With a final wave, Kravitz turns around, holding the tub of cookies close to himself. Taako watches, just for a moment, before stepping inside his house and shutting the door with a quick thought of _what the fuck was that_ before he shakes his head, grabs his camera and goes straight into his office to begin editing, for once in his life motivated to do so.

-

Hours later, after a break to spend time with Angus and cook together, as Taako wraps up editing, his phone buzzes. He checks it much more quickly than he cares to admit, and smiles when he sees Kravitz’s contact name light up the screen.

**crabitz:** Your son is a credit to you, Taako. Thank you for filming that with me. I had a lot of fun.

**me:** i’m trying to think of some snide remark but I can’t so thank you, my mans. i don’t know how my ango ended up so……….. put together, considering who fucking raised him

**crabitz:** You’ve clearly raised him well. He thinks the world of you.

**me:** if i start insulting you will you stop being so nice

**crabitz:** Okay. Uh. Bastard?

**me:** perfect, buddy. in other news. i was wondering if you wanted to do another video at some point

**me:** for business reasons

**crabitz:** Business reasons, of course. Are we not allowed to hang out without a camera present?

**me:** not until my private investigator tells my lawyer to give you the all clear

**crabitz:** Ah, understandable. I thought I saw an SUV circling my apartment earlier.

**me:** yeah i was in it too, sipping some martinis and checking you out

**me:** checking your apartment out

**me:** where you live

**crabitz:** Smooth recovery.

**me:** fuck you, crabsticks. I’m gonna hit you if we hang out again

**crabitz:** I’m sure you’ll try.

**crabitz:** And Taako?

**crabitz:** Thank you, again. Sincerely.

Unsure how to proceed with that, he leaves it, dropping a quick message to Lucretia to fill her in on the video he’s made and edited. She sends back an emoji that is less than thrilled, but not as mad as he expected, more precautious and slightly overbearing.

It’s what he pays her for, but he has the added bonus of knowing she does it out of love, too.

Still, Taako goes with his gut - the video is very good, he argues to himself. Light-hearted, charismatic, the rare treat for his fans of being able to see Angus for a bit - they’re crazy for the kid, Taako has noticed, and he can’t quite blame them. And, luckily enough, considering the leap of faith Taako took, he and Kravitz seem to just… work.

He edits the final few touches with a smile and presses upload, for once, without hesitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's so much fucking dialogue in this all i can say is sorry but i had SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS
> 
> thank u for reading ily


	3. connections

Taako wakes the day after uploading to a flurry of notifications. He can see that his video has done well, according to the YouTube notifications popping up that his video is somehow trending. He smiles, wondering how Kravitz is feeling, knowing that hundreds of thousands of people are seeing his face. He hopes that he’s okay with it, coping well with a newfound feeling of being known and seen by all those unknown people.

There are texts, too, and the one he checks first is from Lucretia. There’s a definite feeling of nerves, there, as he clicks the first message. Luckily, he can relax as he opens it.

**boss lady lucretia:** I have to admit, I was wrong about you making that video with Kravitz. It was very, very funny. Well done, Taako.

**me:** lucretia are you admitting to being WRONG oh my GOODNESS

**boss lady lucretia::** Please, don’t get used to it. It’s a rare occasion.

**me:** i’ll give you that but i’m just gonna take a nice long moment to baaaaaaaaaaaaaaask in this glory.

**me:** thanks, though. Seriously. it was a baller fuckin vid.

He smiles at the praise, it warming in his chest like a hot drink in winter. Lucretia is incredibly good at what she does, firm and fair and harsh when necessary. She is surprisingly good at navigating around Taako, which he can somewhat ashamedly admit is necessary. Walking a line between a harsh tone and a helping hand is something she’s exceptionally skilled in, and her praise, her real praise, is genuine. It’s nice, Taako thinks, to have someone who’ll tell him when he’s made gold and when he’s made shit.

He checks twitter briefly, feeling a tension he didn’t know he was holding within himself release as he sees his fans liked the new video. Loved it, even. He rolls his eyes, unsurprised by the tidal wave of comments about Kravitz already rolling in, but he’s glad, in a way. He wouldn’t want Kravitz to feel like he’d done badly by Taako, or something of the sort, and Taako somehow gets the vibe that that’s exactly the sort of person Kravitz is.

Not that that’s a bad thing, he thinks.

Not at all.

-

Across town, Lup sits with a bowl of cereal, Barry once again sat across from her with a coffee in hand. He reads a book while Lup eats and scrolls through her phone and they sit together in comfortable silence - it’s not strange for them not to talk much this early in the morning. They like to welcome the day in together, tired eyes blinking into the newfound daylight as they go through the motions of a morning routine side by side, sometimes talking, sometimes not. This morning just so happens to be a quiet one, Barry notes to himself, taking a long sip of his coffee - or, he attempts to, until Lup moves so suddenly out of her chair that he snorts coffee up his nose and she just about sends her cereal bowl flying.

“Holy fuck, Taako uploaded a video with Kravitz.” She exclaims. She thrusts her phone out towards him and he squints at the screen and sure enough, there it is. 

“Huh. So he did.”

“No, Barry, babe, I don’t think you understand. _They’ve spent time together._ Already. _Willingly._ ” She rushes round to his side of the table, standing behind him and thrusting the phone in front of them both as she presses play and starts to skip through the video. She groans audibly as she sees them laughing together, as effortless as can be, and Barry feels her rest her chin on his head. “This is bad.”

“We should tell him, babe.” Barry speaks gently, as to not upset her. “He'll find out eventually.”

“I don’t want him to flip out,” she sighs, moving and sitting in the chair next to Barry. He shuffles round to face her, placing his coffee down on the table and taking her hands in his own, gently. “You know what he can be like.”

“And we both know he’s gonna find out eventually.” He retorts, firm but soft-spoken.

She gives his hands a squeeze and smiles that smile at him, the one reserved for dealings with Taako. He’s more than okay with it - he knows that Lup is his, forever, that they’re soulmates and there are so many smiles reserved for him and their love alone. He knows that just as much as he knows that Taako will always occupy a space in her heart that he can’t even begin to understand. To be with someone from before existence materialises, before the world is brought in front of you and you have the chance to explore it, it’s something he can only understand through his wife and his brother in law.

It’s a beautiful bond, and one that has given him more than a few of the stress lines creasing on his forehead.

“Taako is… so much smarter than people give him credit for.” Lup speaks methodically, as if she weighs each word in her mouth before she lets them be spoken. “And yet, he has the emotional maturity of a turnip when it comes to romance.”

She sighs, then continues. “You know, as soon as he realises we know the guy he’s crushing on, he’s gonna get freaked out. Let alone the fact that we’ve both worked with him. And you _still_ work with him.”

“Yeah,” Barry nods, understanding. “I don’t get how he hasn’t figured it out yet.”

“He’s gonna fucking repress those feelings faster than he can make an omlette and that’s fucking _fast_ Barold, like, ridiculously so.” She doesn’t seem to have heard what Barry last said, and that’s fine, he realises, because sometimes she needs to talk rather than to listen. It’s how she works, as he’s learned over the years.

The silence returns for a moment and Lup looks stressed, genuinely stressed, and it worries him. He knows her well enough that he knows he’s not crossing a boundary when he stands up, taller than her for once, with her sat down, and hugs her to his chest. A hand automatically finds its way to cup the back of her head, fingers lightly brushing the hair just behind her long, pointed ears, right where her undercut is shaved.

“Before we tell him, which we have to do sooner or later, are we sure that he’s genuinely got a crush on Kravitz?” Barry asks gently as Lup hums contentedly against his chest. She stops and Barry corrects himself. “That was a stupid question. You know him well, and I trust you, and I have eyes, and… yeah.”

“Yeah. Thanks, babe. It might not be a crush yet but by the gods above, I know my brother. I was with him in the womb and he still sometimes ignores my texts. Kravitz, though? Not once. I called him last night, super briefly, and it was the most irritatingly adorable stream of text notifications I’ve ever heard.” She chuckles slightly, it rumbling and reverberating through Barry as she does. She looks up at him with huge brown eyes, a hint of a sparkle in them. “And, y’know what?”

“Hm?”

“If I could cast a spell to summon Taako’s type in front of me, I’d be summoning Kravitz.” She chuckles again. “We’re in trouble, Barold.”

“I see.” He smiles and presses a kiss to her forehead. “Is it always so dramatic with him?”

She leans up and presses a chaste kiss to his lips before sitting down again and sighing. “When we were young, I figured out he had a crush on a boy in our class. I brought it up once and… well, he said the boy was dead to him, and that we had to move schools.”

Barry laughs, sighing and shaking his head fondly, ignoring the inklings of a stress headache nagging at the edges of his consciousness. “Yikes.”

It’s then their phones both buzz in tandem. They share a look, wordless, before shrugging and both going to the groupchat that they both had expected without having to exchange a word.

**GROUPCHAT: lets talk about taako**

**magnus:** hey uh lup did you see the video of them together. julia’s watched it. she says their chemistry was, like, ridiculous

**barry:** She’s right about that, too. It was very, very funny.

**lup:** uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i know and i hate it because that means i have to have a Conversation with him sooner or llater

**merle:** i’d Like to think we can let him. D o His thing – merle

“You know,” Lup breaks the silence again, drawing Barry’s attention back to her as her voice hints at a smile around the edges. “One day I may kill that fucking dwarf.”

-

A week passes quickly, quietly, and suspiciously uneventfully. Or, uneventfully in the grand scheme of things.

Lup makes the very conscious decision to not tell Taako that she and Barry know Kravitz, not quite yet, just hoping with the will of a thousand suns that maybe Kravitz has already brought it up, and that Taako is uncharacteristically okay with it. She’s smart enough to know that that’s not true at all and realistic enough to know that if Taako _had_ found out, she would absolutely know about it, because he is going to play hell.

Still. She likes to think that she’s an optimist. And she goes about her life to the best of her ability, ignoring the nagging feeling of guilt lingering there for much longer than she’d like.

Taako, over the course of a week, has the shameless pleasure of watching his video climb in views, likes and comments, a wave of positivity boosting his ego in a way that he enjoys all too much. Moreover, though, he gets the all-too-real satisfaction of facetiming Kravitz and watching him react in shock, as genuine as a child’s, each time he updates the man on his newfound popularity online. The joy it brings out in Kravitz makes Taako feel almost altruistic, despite the knowledge that he’s not really _done_ anything, other than enjoy the presence of Kravitz’s company.

As promised, they see each other again. Multiple times. In the space of a week. They get coffee, Kravitz comes over again, they walk Kravitz’s dog together - a pure white samoyed stereotypically and predictably named Cloud, which Taako teases him mercilessly for, and then outright refuses to call him anything other than Vape, much to Kravitz’s dismay. He gets an unexpected surge of joy watching Kravitz, dressed in black, as always, be led about by such an aesthetically opposite dog. It’s sweet, he can’t help but think.

When he mentions that, Kravitz retorts that his black hoodie and jeans is already aesthetically opposed to Taako’s flowing pink skirt and white, pirate-style laced-up top. Taako, admittedly, sees where he’s coming from.

But even more than that - he takes great, great amounts of joy that the instagram picture he uploads of Kravitz and his dog soars in likes, with a larger than insignificant amount of fans beginning speculation. The internet is a wonderful place for that, he thinks, _speculation_. A never ending spider’s web, rabbit hole, etcetera, etcetera.

“Look,” Taako shoves Kravitz’s arm as soon as he sees the comments, buried deep under the post within minutes of uploading. He attempts grabbing Kravitz’s attention by force in the way a toddler would, an overwhelmingly excited fashion as they sit together in Taako’s garden, watching Angus play on his swing set. “They’ve called us a _taakitz._ ”

“A what?” Kravitz questions, sipping his pink lemonade in the sun, squinting through fashionable sunglasses.

“It’s a ship name. They think we’re a _taakitz._ Like, y’know, Taako add Kravitz.”

“Oh.” Kravitz replies, and Taako could have placed money on the fact that he was blushing.

-

Magnus finds himself mirroring Lup on a sunny morning a week later, albeit unknowingly. He sits on his sofa with Julia tucked into his side comfortably, their dog at their feet. He’s just finished watching Taako’s new video - another upload with Kravitz, this time a short vlog, featuring Kravitz’s admittedly adorable dog - on her phone after she watched it before him and insisted with a giddy severity that he _had_ to watch it again. He gets why, now, he thinks.

“Huh. How about that.” He mumbles, the words falling out almost accidentally as he turns to look at Julia. “You weren’t kidding. Two in a row.”

She looks ecstatic - a wild look of excitement in her eyes as she claps her small hands together gleefully. “Oh, I _know_. Like the start of a romcom, isn’t it!”

“One way of putting it,” Magnus replies, somewhat unconvinced. “You know what he’s like, Jules.”

“Oh, you’re all too harsh on him.” She huffs in a way that breaks Magnus out in a loving smile. “I love Taako, you know I do, and I like to see him happy. He looks just as giddy in that video as I’ve ever seen him. Hell, it even reminds me of a certain someone I used to know.”

She wiggles her eyebrows before fixing Magnus with a pointed look and he has no doubt that she means _him, when he was young and less grumpy_ , and he can hear it in her voice as clear as day without her having to say it. It’s the kindly scolding words she uses when the side of himself he’s less proud of slips out, a harsher and admittedly more boring side, that Jules does the most spectacular job of keeping in check. With that one look, he relents.

“Okay, okay. You might have a point. He looks really happy.” He admits, pulling her closer. “I just also know he can be a dumbass.”

“That’s true.” She smiles, squirming out from under his arm and laying down with her head in his lap, smiling up at him. “But if that’s not love at first sight, I don’t know what is.”

She says it dreamily and Magnus is reminded again that his wife is a hopeless romantic as much as he is, and that he should let himself have the same hopes for Taako as she does. Julia has always had a special connection with Taako that Magnus has been eternally grateful for, that his wife has such a deep love for his pseudo-brother, but it’s something that also weighs on him.

It isn’t ideal to play good-cop / bad-cop with your wife when dealing with your best friend’s antics, but it’s a situation he’s found himself in before. Plenty of times.

“Maggy.” Her voice snaps him back to reality. “Text him. Pleeease. Just… give him a little push in the right direction.”

“Ugh, fine.” He concedes once again, as always, wrapped around her little finger infinitely. He leans down and kisses her softly, then pressing a kiss on each delightfully chubby cheek as she grins.

“Get on with it, handsome.”

**GROUP CHAT: tReS hOrnY BoIS**

**magnus:** when are we addressing the elephant in the room

**taako:**?

**merle:** yOu can trust Us Taako ! – m

**taako:** oh I see you’ve dropped the full name and kept it casual with an M. i like it i like the vibe

**magnus:** taako stop deflecting

**taako:** ive never deflected in my fucking life

**magnus:** you are spending a LOT of time with him

**taako:** aw are you jealous mango

**magnus:** yeah i’m crying myself to sleep nightly, jules doesn’t know what to do with me

**merle:** I feel As Though. I am. Third wheeling ☹ m

**taako:** aw there’s always room in my heart for you big guy. Well

**taako:** insert height joke

**merle:** ☹

**magnus:** guys. Elephant. Room.

**magnus:** i’m not insulting you but like. i am just curious whats going on. i do in fact see you flirting with him over twitter and Instagram and everywhere else

**taako:** ITS CALLED FRIENDSHIP

**merle:** Is It?

**taako:** are you fucking kidding me my dudes

**magnus:** apparently he’s a nice guy! that’s what lup says at least, and we know you can trust her. so if you like him (and look at your videos, dude) you can talk about him to us

**taako:** …… lup? are you saying lup knows him?

“Oh fuck.” Magnus feels the fear of all the gods appear in his chest as his entire life flashes before his eyes. “Lup is going to fucking kill me.”

Julia looks up at him, concerned, having been minding her own business in the passing minutes as he text. “Honey? What’s happened?”

“I told him. I told him that Lup knows Kravitz.”

“Oh.” Julia says quietly, then louder, in a way that would be absolutely hysterical coming from the polite, positive, mild-mannered woman he’s been in love with for most of his life, if not for his overwhelming sense of _I goofed it._ “Oh fuck.”

She bolts upright and sits, looking over Magnus’ shoulder as his thumbs move at lightspeed, quickly typing to try and maybe, somehow, desperately avoid a complete calamity. Julia has a feeling within herself that both she and Magnus know damage is already done, even as he sends Lup a text of warning.

**me:** I THINK I FUCKED UP LUP

**me:** I FORGOT THAT TAAKO DIDN’T KNOW YOU KNOW KRAVITZ

**lup:** oh fuck

-

Taako, upon receiving the text from Magnus, has seen a somewhat fucking overwhelming shade of red. He is angry at Lup, genuinely angry, for the first time in _years._ The benefit of having a twin is that you know each other so unbelievably well, if you’re close, at least, that you learn how not to push each other’s buttons unless you desire to. Taako knows he and Lup are exceptionally close, even by twin standards, and don’t tend to push buttons further than gentle teasing.

They stand firm as a force in each other’s lives that is permanently there, the watcher of each other’s backs more than anyone else, and for that reason, there are few arguments between the two of them over anything _genuine._

This, Taako thinks, dumbfounded with a boiling anger in his stomach that stings of a betrayal, is _genuine._

To absolutely none of his surprise, Lup messages him soon after.

**less sexy twin:** taako before you come to my home and murder me to death i can explain

**me:** evict barold right now he doesn’t have to see this

**me:** I am going to bodyslam you into the ethereal plane

**me:** you KNOW HIM?

**less sexy twin:** HES A FUNERAL DIRECTOR. HE WORKS FOR THE RAVEN QUEEN

**me** are you fucking kidding you WORKED WITH HIM? BAROLD STILL WORKS WITH HIM

**less sexy twin:** I FIGURED YOU’D FIGURE IT OUT ON YOUR OWN AND THEN YOU DIDN’T AND I PANICKED!!! i’m sorry taako i’m genuinely very sorry I know I broke a twin rule

**me:** YOU SHAT ON ITS INTEGRITY

**less sexy twin:** okay now that’s maybe a bit far

**me** I SAID. SHAT.

**less sexy twin:** okay okay okay I just didn’t want you to ghost him!!!! i know you better than anyone taako i KNOW that you don’t like it when i know people who you have feelings for

**me:** i don’t have feelings for him remember i got all my romantic feelings surgically removed circa 2016

**less sexy twin:** then why do you care that i know him?

He chooses not to reply to that one, his hands shaking somewhat as he paces up and down his room. He’s immensely glad Angus is out with friends for the day as he flops onto his bed and does what he does best when annoyed, the only calming-down method that is tried and trusted - he takes a pillow, buries his face into it, and yells.

For quite a while.

As the initial anger subsides - it struggles to act for long when it comes to Lup, as if his own body rejects any negative feelings towards her - he rolls over onto his back and stares at his ceiling. It makes sense, he thinks, although bitterly. Any negative emotion towards Lup is as foreign to him as any dangerous virus. It's a rare occasion that Taako's sensibility overrides emotion, but for Lup, it manages to.

He’s reminded then of when they were kids, too young to have fully learnt their best methods of conflict resolution, at an age where tempers run highest and are forgotten quickest. They’d argued over something ridiculous, like who was meant to be prepping what vegetable for their evening meal, or Taako’s dicing techniques, something apparently abhorrent to them at the time, and soon enough they were throwing punches and fighting dirty in the way that only children get away with, sharp elbows flying. Their aunt, their only caregiver at the time, before she passed, had put an end to it quickly by grabbing each by a long ear and making them face each other.

He still remembers her voice, to this day. _“You two are all you will have, one day, for only the gods know how long. Why fight with the other half of your being? Your own mirror image?”_

She was harsh like that, when necessary, in a way that was never to scare, only to teach a message when they really needed it. She never hurt them and always treated them with a guiding hand, as if she always knew that she’d leave them far too soon. Which she did, but Taako tries not to dwell on that.

Either way, the memory quells the anger in him, and he moves to hug the pillow to his chest. At times, Taako thinks to himself, he’s sure that Lup is his conscience. As if, when they were waiting about for those 9 months together, ready to be real little people on the planet, her soul morphed into part of him as his did into her.

“Stupid fuckin’ twin sense.” He says, as his cat, Caleb (named after, of course, Caleb Cleveland Kid Cop, as was Angus’ doing), curls up next to him, purring loudly for attention. “D’you know what I mean?”

Taako pauses, before snorting a laugh.

“No you don’t, you’re a fuckin’ cat.”

He knows, deep in his heart, _why_ Lup didn’t tell him. Hells, he thinks, _this_ is exactly why. Still, it wouldn’t be him if he didn’t at least do _something_ slightly petty.

So, of course, he opens twitter.

**taako, the Famous one @taakofromTV**

snakes everywhere…..

**lup @loooptaco**

@taakofromTV my heart you are so incredibly dramatic

**Barry Bluejeans @Barry_BJ**

@taakofromTV Is this really necessary, Taako? We love you and are sorry and I’ll let you burn a pair of my jeans.

**taako, the Famous one @taakofromTV**

@Barry_BJ tempting offer barry fucking blowjob

Shortly afterwards, his phone buzzes at his side, and Taako lets out a huff of air in the form of a laugh at the way it harmonises with the purring of Caleb, who remains happy as ever at his side.

He relaxes slightly, another level of anger seeping away as he sees Kravitz’s contact name pop up on his screen.

**crabitz:** Is everything okay, Taako?

**me:** no my sister my twin my other half has betrayed me. can you paly fortnite good

**me:** you don’t give me that vibe but i need someone to publicly kick her ass. a modern day duel

**me:** also when the FUCK were you gonna mention you knew her

**crabitz:** I presumed you already knew?

**crabitz:** Taako, are you upset that I know your sister?

**me:** for all i know you could be stalking me via my closest loved ones now

**crabitz:** Oh, of course I am. Obviously. I decided to work at a company for the past… far too long, actually, all in the hopes that one day your then not-famous twin sister would begin to work there, you would then rise to stardom and I’d begin to write introspective non-fiction blog posts about you, knowing you’d find it somehow and I’d worm my way into your life. It’s all been one big long-con.

**crabitz:** The gig is up.

**me:** i think I liked it better when you didn’t snark back

**crabitz:** 😉

He laughs properly, then, a belly laugh that warms him slightly and removes some more tension he was holding. He’s annoyed, still, of course.

But he’s extremely glad that he at least holds the sense in his admittedly thick skull to not have bit back at Lup in any way that’s cruel enough for him to have regretted. The hurt that was so _genuine_ and a _betrayal_ not an hour ago is now just... grumpiness.

As if having sensed the anger, or most of it, having lapsed from his body, Lup texts him.

**less sexy twin:** are you ready to talk to me now taako?

**me:** k.

**less sexy twin:** please. come on.

**me:** okay FINE dingus i know you were trying to help. but i’m my own person. taako’s a big boy now and i am GOOD to make my own decisions on people.

**me:** plus, I don’t Like Like him. i don’t know where everyone’s getting that from

**less sexy twin:** i know I know but your introduction of him to me was calling him hot

**me:** which he is. i can have friends and also have EYES lup

**less sexy twin:** you do have a point with that one and i won’t try to lie to you: he is fucking pretty

**me:** gods above i know its like talking to my own personal rent-a-model who comes round my house, tutors my son in physics and is learning to make a very decent shortbread if i do say so myself

**less sexy twin:** …..dude

**me:** oh don’t say anything i already know its fucking weird.

 **me:** i love you, btw, lulu. Sorry for yelling

 **less sexy twin:** no its my bad. Love you too taaks

Something settles, and he knows they’re okay. Not that he had any doubt they would be - he knows he’s hotheaded, Lup has told him plenty of times that he’s the one with the fiery personality, quick to go off like a rocket but just as quick to return to Lup, at least, with his tail between his legs. She deals with him. He’s eternally grateful for her. So when she fucks up, and he goes off as he is wont to do, it’s only right that they both apologise.

At the end of the day, his aunt was right - they're each others' other half.

-

Lup, across town, feels a similar sense of relief settle in her chest. She already knows Taako feels the same, years of intuition tell her that they’re both calmer and happier and things will be just fine. Unsurprisingly, she finds herself receiving a text from Lucretia later that day, clearly in response to Taako’s online outburst.

**Luc <3: **Any updates on your brother?

**me:** he’s as dramatic as always, as you’ll have seen on twitter, but we’re Gucci

**Luc <3: **Does he like Kravitz?

**me:** what do you think? you’re the smart one here ms bookkeeper

**Luc <3: **I think he does. From what I’ve seen of them together. Or at least, he’s starting to… do you think he knows?

**me:** not a fucking chance

**me:** my sweet taako is a wonderful person but he picks the people he likes and then goes “that’s enough connection for me, see you next century for one limited time only friendship opening”

**me:** our entire childhood i could count the people he cared about on one hand because. Well. it was me!

**me:** the fact that he loves you and merle and mango and everyone so much is actually a glitch in the fucking matrix

**Luc <3: **He is the father now, though. Maybe that’s changed him?

**me:** he’s been a dad for years, luc. he still talks about himself as if he’s a glorified babysitter rather than the person who hung the moon and stars in ango’s little world.

**Luc <3: **You’re right. It’s just an awful shame, isn’t it? I also have to wonder what Kravitz is making out of all of it.

**Luc <3: **And I do, admittedly, feel like a bit of a vulture for worrying as a friend while also hoping they keep making content as a manager because it’s.. very good Lup. Seriously, they work scarily well together.

**me:** lucretia you are a baller friend and manager.

**Luc <3: **Thank you. Speaking as your friend and your manager, too, you are a wonderful friend and a wonderful sister. Don’t stress yourself too much about him. I’m sure he’ll be okay.

**me:** who are u trying to convince here

**Luc <3: **… both of us, I think.

**me:** thought so

**Luc <3: **Drinks, soon?

**me:** ALWAYS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there r lots more texts in this one. sorry that it's shorter, somehow Multiple scenes did not add up in my head to one long, in depth scene of taakitz baking. i don't know either gang.  
> once again: thank you for reading!


	4. beach episode

It’s a sunny afternoon and Taako is sitting outside with Angus. The boy is laying on the grass, reading the newest Caleb Cleveland novel with their cat, the protagonist’s namesake, curled up next to him. Taako is sitting on a chair with an iced coffee in hand, sipping at it as he soaks in the sunlight, reveling in the warmth on his skin after a few grey, miserable days. Taako makes a mental note that sometimes his therapist  _ is  _ right, and that sunshine  _ is  _ apparently good for the mood, it seems.

The light breeze that makes the heat so much more enjoyable rustles through their garden, weaving in and out of plants that Merle is wholly responsible for, one thing that Taako wouldn’t even attempt to take credit for, much to his dismay. It’s quiet, their house tucked away from the hustle and bustle of most of the town’s traffic and other general racket, and Taako takes a moment to breathe in deep - slow and long, letting his lungs fill up and empty out again, letting himself take all the time in the world to just…  _ be. _

Of course, the silence is then broken with the ever-present buzz of a cell phone, and there’s a moment of anxiety before the feeling in the pit of his stomach is replaced with something all too different.

**boss lady lucretia:** Remember how I said we were sorting the final few details of that certain big project?

**me:** sizzlin it up?

**boss lady lucretia:** Yeah. I may have just got it all sorted. It’s dropping tomorrow.

**me:** no advertising beforehand?

**boss lady lucretia:** We reckon all it’ll take is a tweet from you to stir up excitement.

**me:** lucretia I am going to KISS YOU

**boss lady lucretia:** Please don’t.

**me:** you are a saint amongst people and also the best and also what do you want me to bake you

In an instant, seconds after pressing send on the last message, Taako is up and on his feet and swooping Angus up into his arms. Caleb Cat Detective - his full legal name - meowls unhappily at this favourite owner suddenly disappearing, but Taako pays no mind as he spins Angus round in a fit of joy. Angus, shocked, is already bursting into fits of giggles and is dizzy and unsteady on his feet by the time he’s placed on the floor.

“What was that for?” He laughs, almost falling backwards.

“Kid.” Taako beams. “By tomorrow morning, your Dad’s gonna go from famous to  _ real fucking famous.” _

It clicks instantly in Angus’ head and his jaw drops, brown eyes wide with wonder and sparkling with admiration. “The show?”

“The show indeed, pumpkin.” Taako pulls him in for a hug, all walls down and unabashed affection out in the open, squeezing his son close. “You proud of me Agnes?”

Angus hugs him back just as tight, nodding fast against his chest, genuine in the way that only a kid can be. “The proudest.”

“Well, my little dude, let’s fucking celebrate.”

When they step apart, Taako leads Angus inside and proceeds to order all of their favorite food in-between flurries of messages to the people he’s closest to, including a screaming Lup and an overjoyed Burnsides household, and he beams the whole time. When he finally tweets the announcement, as Lucreita wanted him to, his phone gets so hot that he’s scared it might set alight, his fans reacting all at once as the news is spread and reposted and soon enough, there’s a BuzzFeed article on it.

**taako, the Famous one @taakofromTV**

keep an eye on Netflix tomorrow. ya boy got himself a show.

Taako is more than happy to mutethe app, after that.

Throughout the rest of the day, his phone is lit up with a constant stream of notifications as the news spreads around, people sending congratulations and trying to get in his good books, he reckons, in case by some miracle the show really does become a hit. Taako, when placing his ego to the side, doesn’t expect to be the next big thing - but it’s big, nonetheless. He knows that this will help his family and make his fans happy and he is  _ proud  _ of himself, for once, though he’d never admit it.

He spends his time by Angus’ side, checking his phone infrequently and instead focusing on spending time with his son. That is, of course, until the time rolls around that he knows Kravitz gets off work. It’s settled into routine that Kravitz texts him shortly after finishing every day, usually giving some recap of his day and always asking Taako how his own has been. Today, Taako waits with a nervous anticipation and excitement that buzzes through him like a livewire, vibrating and reverberating and leaving him to tap his foot at a quite frankly impressive pace until the text sound comes through.

He knows it’s Kravitz immediately - not that Taako would tell anyone else, but he gave the man a unique ringtone. The only other people who have that privilege are his closest, longest friends. Taako isn’t quite sure how Kravitz got to the special status so quickly, but it’s useful.

**crabitz:** Taako! A Netflix show! I can’t believe it!

**crabitz:** Okay, that’s a lie, I can definitely believe it.

**crabitz:** I am so incredibly proud of you. I hope that’s not strange to say, considering I’ve not known you all that long. Either way, it’s true. Well done, Taako. Nobody deserves this more than you.

Taako feels a heavy weight in his throat as he reads the texts, his mouth opening slightly in shock before curling into a soft smile. He holds the phone tight, presses it close to his chest for a second, against his heart, without even realising he moved. He holds it there and feels a sense of complete pride, the weighty relief like that of a child who’s impressed someone they look up to as inspiration.

He’d mentioned the show to Kravitz briefly, a vague reference in passing conversation as to not get Kravitz’s hopes up, so the text is wonderfully authentic in a way that makes his heart melt. Impressing Kravitz is  _ important _ to him, he realises, because he is new - not in the sense that he wants to impress the new kid at school, to look cool, but in the way that he wants to make him proud because there is no way that that pride is owed to him. His friends and family have supported him from the beginning, when his content was, quite frankly, ass, and he has no doubt that they’d support him and be proud no matter what. Kravitz has an objectivity that means a  _ lot _ , somehow.

Maybe because Kravitz’s pride in him is  _ earned _ , not owed.

The words  _ I am so incredibly proud of you  _ rattle around in his head for hours, like song lyrics he’s unable to shake.

The next day, he wakes up just before the show drops to a loud banging on the door. He stumbles downstairs half-awake, rubbing his eyes and stretching himself into life, hearing bones in his spine crack as if he’s a solid century older than he is. He opens the door and breaks into a smile as a chattering hoard of the people he loves comes pouring inside before he can get a word in, but not so many people that it’s overwhelming - Lup, Magnus, Merle, Lucretia. Lup stops as she enters, squeezes her brother into a tight hug and buries her face by his neck. Instinctively, Taako does the same - they stand there a moment, holding onto each other like they’re all they have, like they once were.

“Lulu, you organise this?”

“Duh. Couldn’t let you and Ango be alone watching the first official episode of your show - plus, if I remember right, I’m in this one.” She grins.

“You are. Only because I pity you being less famous than me.” He pulls back slightly, but keeps his hands on her back. “Seriously, though. Don’t let anyone know I feel things, but -- shit, Lu, thanks. This is nice of you. It means a lot.”

Lup gives a shiteating grin, as if she  _ knew  _ this would drag the sentimentality out of her brother and gives him a kiss on the cheek. “Of course, dingus. I’ll tell ‘em it’s the only way I knew you’d be awake for your premiere.”

At that, the Taaco twins hear footsteps pattering down the stairs that belong, unmistakably, to their littlest relative. “You’re right, Aunty Lu, he’s only just awake!”

Taako rolls his eyes at that, sticks his tongue out at the boy who returns the expression perfectly before racing into the living room. “What are you, a cop?” He shouts out after Angus with a laugh. “Guess we should go watch me ascend to stardom, huh?”

Lup smiles, fondly, the  _ Taako Smile™  _ without any of that worry that usually accompanies it like a shadow. “You’re already a star to me, Tak.”

The  _ love  _ in that is so palpable that Taako doesn’t know what to do with it, the fondness in Lup’s smile and eyes reminiscent of not just a sister but a real, true best friend. Taako fake sticking his finger in his mouth and pretending to gag, retchining comedically and he knows that Lup will be able to read that as a thank you. 

They all crowd onto the sofa then, immediately loading up Netflix and letting out a yell, even Taako, when they see his face plastered across the screen - it’s a simple show, Taako cooking and chatting with his guests, his friends, his  _ family _ , and although all in the room were there for the filming and production, it’s insane to see it materialised into something real. If there’s suddenly a lot of weepy eyes in the room, they’ll all blame it on the dust.

It’s two episodes in, spent chatting and laughing and boosting Taako’s ego to the point where Merle jokes that he won’t be able to get his head out of the door to see them off, when Taako finally hears the sound he was waiting for - Kravitz’s text notification.

**crabitz:** The show’s just as good as I expected it to be, Taako. Well done. So so proud, still. :)

**crabitz:** Now that you’re overwhelmingly famous, I’m guessing you don’t want to come to the beach with me tomorrow?

**me:** nah i don’t spend my time on people with less than 100k followers on the gram

**crabitz:** Dang. 99k away.

**me:** so close yet so far bud

**me:** i’m kidding obvi. who’s coming?

**crabitz:** I’ve invited some other friends of mine, Carey and Killian.

**me:** do you fucking know everyone I know

**crabitz:** They go to my bookclub! I promise you, these are coincidences.

**me:** oh of fucking course they do that’s gay culture right there

**crabitz:** … I don’t understand what you mean, Taako.

**crabitz:** You do know I’m straight?

**me:** wait the fuck. My dude.??

Taako nearly drops his phone, then, his jaw hanging slightly open for a moment before he quickly shuts it, remembering that the four people who are up his ass the  _ most  _ about this are surrounding him like a cocoon. He continues to try and watch the TV - fucking  _ weird _ , he thinks, trying to enjoy himself - and not act like a complete fool. Internally, he’s going at far too many miles an hour, trying to think over every memory with Kravitz that had led him to presume  _ gay _ , most of which include them flirting, jokingly, of course, and tries to assess if maybe he’s been making him unfomfortable, or forcing it, or - just, anything of the sort.

It takes far too many minutes for Kravitz to text him back.

**crabitz:** Hahahahhaah! You believed me!

**me:** I’m gonna eldritch blast you. into the future. 19345 years away from me.

**crabitz:** I can’t believe I actually got you!

**me:** fuck off crab sticks i’ve never seen you in flares how is a man to know

**crabitz:** That’s stereotypical of you.

**me:** oh whatever i’m the stereotype its no biggie. upd8 me on plans later hate u so much x

Taako doesn’t realise he’s smiling at his phone until Merle nudges him and he looks up to 5 expectant faces, grinning - five, because even Angus is looking at him funny.

“What?” He ignores the flush spreading across his cheeks.

“What yourself, sunshine! What’s the texts from Kravvy about?” Merle grins.

“Oh about none of your business, jackass. Stop looking at me like that, assholes, I’ll remove all of you from my will.”

“Who needs money when you have  _ loooove _ .” Merle sighs dreamily and high-fives Magnus, which is insufferable to watch, Taako thinks. 

“I hate you all so much. Agnes, I’ll put you up for readoption, so don’t even try it.”

“Leave him alone,” Lucretia smiles, patting Taako’s shoulder, motherly. It would be nice, supportive, even, if she didn’t follow up with a condescending, “he’ll figure it out sooner or later.”

Taako shoves her lightly and rolls his eyes. “I was gonna invite you to a beach day, but fuck that, none of you are coming now.”

“Aw,” Magnus pouts. “Shame that Kravitz already text Jules about it and we’re all coming along to see you two kiss.”

“Ew, first of all, my son is in the room, second of all, stop fetishizing homosexuality, third of all, fuck off, Mango.”

“Taako, I’m bisexual.” Magnus laughs heartily. “And it’s not my fault that you have a crush on him! Your kid’s a detective - he’s the one who pointed it out to me.”

“Sorry, dad!” Angus giggles. “I never said crush, they’re just teasing you.” He cuddles up to Taako’s side and Taako rests an arm around him, hugging him close.

“Pack your bags and go live with Uncle Mango or Grandpa Piss over there if you want to keep betraying me, kid.” He says, grumpy, but unable to hold back a smile when he looks into Angus’ offensively big, brown eyes - like something from a stupid cartoon, he thinks. “I wish you’d all call it quits, jeez, can’t a man have a new friend?”

“M’kay, Taako.” Lup rolls her eyes, thorwing popcorn in the air and catching it in her mouth effortlessly before continuing. “Whatever you say.”

-

Beach day rolls around and it’s chaos that can’t even be called organised out of pity. People get lost (Taako), people have to make several trips home to collect things they forgot (Taako) and people immediately spend twenty seven minutes looking for their phone, convinced they lost it in the sand when really it was still in their car (also Taako) - but, eventually, after an admittedly  _ stressful  _ morning, Taako finds himself sitting on a beach, another gloriously sunny day, surrounded by his loved ones. And Kravitz.

Carey, Killian and Magnus have Angus under control, playing in the shallows of the ocean and furiously trying to splash each other. Lucretia and Merle are sat together nearby, discussing some book, it seems, with Julia chiming in every now and then as she sews. She recently picked up embroidery as a hobby and it’s quite frankly adorable, Taako thinks fondly. Barry and Lup are much further out at sea, he notices, sat on a shitty old paddleboard that Barry, from what he can make out, is not loving. Kravitz sits under an umbrella, hiding from the sun like some sort of vampire, wearing black swimming trunks with little white flowers on them..

Taako finds himself sitting next to Kravitz first, not wanting to interrupt the others.

“Hey bone dog, whatcha reading?” He greets Kravitz, having just re-emerged from where he was getting changed into his own swimming trunks and a quite frankly  _ gorgeous  _ linen beach shawl, if he does say so himself.

“Hi, Taako. Come to bother me?” Kravitz smiles at Taako as he sits down, squinting against the sun.

“Natch.”

“It’s nothing exciting. Book on musical history.”

Taako raises a brow, interest piqued. “Didn’t put you down as a music lover, Crabby. Thought it would be some gothic literature shit.”

Kravitz laughs, light and airy, as if the sea breeze could carry it away. “Yeah, no, I left that book at home alongside my tome of secrets. But, no, yes, this one here is about the great unrecognised composers of history.”

“Can’t be that great if they were unrecognised.” Taako shrugs, reaching into the picnic basket he brought and grabbing a sandwich. “For real, though - didn’t realise that was your sorta thing.”

Kravitz looks at him, sighing, disappointed and fond wrapped up in one. “They’re unrecognised because of historical prejudices, Taako. And, yes, actually. I didn’t want to be a funeral director my whole life, you know. I wasn’t a little boy dreaming of dealing with dead bodies,”

That catches his interest again and Taako turns round to face Kravitz fully, rather than just sit alongside him. He looks at Kravitz, waving his hand in a circle. “C’mon, keep it going. You know you can talk about yourself for more than a minute at a time. I want the Kravitz Limited Edition Lore here, buddy.”

“Okay, well. Uh. I wanted to be a conductor.”

“Trains?!” Taako questions, muffled through a mouthful of PB&J.

“No, you idiot.” Kravitz laughs, reaching over and shoving Taako lightly. “ _ Music.” _

“Oh,” Taako grins. “Makes more sense in this context, huh? Anyway. What the  _ fuck _ , Kravitz? How’d you end up a funeral director?”

Kravitz shrugs, then, pauses for a moment with his lower lip caught between his teeth as if deep in thought. “I guess it was the safer option. Not everyone wants to go see a classical concert, or a theatre show, and those roles are  _ very  _ competitive. But… well, everyone dies, Taako, and not many people want to work with the recently deceased.”

“I mean, I can’t say shit about stable careers, I’m an  _ influencer _ , but… Huh.” Taako says, because for once, he’s not quite sure what else to say to that. They say nothing for a while, each looking out to the ocean, that endless blue expanse that’s as comforting as it is terrifying, until Taako breaks the silence. “Well, that’s fucking macarbe. Want a sammich?”

And for some reason, that’s what does it in for Kravitz. He bursts into a fit of  _ giggles _ , not laughter,  _ giggles _ , and practically doubles over laughing. Taako looks at him, wide-eyed, cracking a smile himself. “What? Hey, jackass, what’s so funny?”

It takes a while for the man to gather himself together, still wheezing somewhat in his response. “Just…  _ you _ , Taako. You’re one of the funniest people I’ve ever met in my life.” He laughs again, clearing his throat and doing a borderline offensive impression of Taako’s voice. “ _ That’s macabre. Want a sandwich? I’m Taako and I don’t like serious conversations.” _

“Hey! Fuck you, bone dog.” Taako snaps, but he’s laughing and blushing just a bit, though it could easily be because of the sun, he thinks. “Shut up. Stop laughing at me. I can do serious - come on, lay it on me, tell me your traumas, baby, I’m all ears. Literally. They’re long as fuck -- also, I do  _ not  _ sound like that, that’s essentially a hate crime you’ve just committed.”

Kravitz beams at him then, as bright as the blinding sun, and before Taako can think or protest or even compute, he’s been pulled into a quick hug by the other man. For a moment, they’re skin to skin , chest to chest with Kravitz’s arms around his back and Taako can feel Kravitz against him, warm and soft and quite nice, really, maybe - and then it’s over. “Sorry.” Kravitz says, quiet again, shy, it seems. “Sorry, I should have asked first. That was bad of me. I’m sorry if I overstepped.”

Taako is shaking his head before he realises, more focused on how cold it is now, not in that hug, even with the sun beating down onto him just as much as before. “No, no, dickwad, don’t be like that. It’s all good. It’s just a hug.” He doesn’t sound convinced, even to himself. “What’s that for though?”

“I just…” Kravitz shrugs, smiling, looking so blissfully content that Taako wants to jump inside his head, imagining that it’s empty, no worries, no anxiety, just that smile personified. “I’m just glad to have you, Taako. I’m happy that you’re my friend. You really are very funny and I appreciate you and I’m… I’m happy, Taako. To be here. With all of you.”

Taako nods, understanding the unsaid, there, remembering how it felt to not have many friends in the world, knowing that his group of friends are remarkably good at making you feel at home, settled, safe. “It’s all good, Crab Sticks. I’m glad you’re here too.”

“Is… is it weird to say that you’re, well.... You’re one of my best friends, Taako? Already?” He says the statement in the form of a question, as if shielding himself from the realness of it all.

“No.” Taako answers instinctively, offensively genuine, clearly shocking both himself and Kravitz. “No, uh… Yeah. No. Weird how little we’ve known each other, but… I get you, my man. We get along real good.” He pauses briefly. “Though, it’s only for the views. Obviously.”

“Of course.” Kravitz chuckles. “Only for the views.”

The lull in conversation that settles between them is calm, comfortable, the men sat side by side as they eat and people-watch. Taako watches Angus with pride bubbling within him, smiles at Lup and Barry, waves at Lucretia and Merle. Kravitz, subtly, watches Taako watch them, his own smile soft against his lips, barely there. Underneath the sounds of their friends, under the shouting and laughter, the ocean laps against the shore and the birds speak to one another up above.

After a while, a thought wanders its way through Taako’s mind and, as is the Taako way, he vocalises it straight away. “Krav? Does working with, like, dead people, make you fucking depressed?”

Kravitz looks surprised at the sudden turn in conversation, once again stopping to think about his answer, lip between teeth. “I mean… no, not really? It’s sad to see families grieving, of course. But like I said… death is as part of life as any other bit is.”

“So, wait, hold on. You don’t get scared shitless of death, seeing it all the fucking time?”

“No, not really.” Kravitz shrugs again. “If anything, being made to face my own mortality every day reminds me how  _ good  _ living is, and how much I should appreciate it.”

“Jeez, look at you keeping the reality of death all peachy.” Taako chuckles. “I guess that’s nice, though. Glass half full.”

“I know, Mr. Glass Half Empty.” Kravitz stands up, then, reaching a hand out to Taako. “Want to stop thinking about the grim reality of our mortality and go for a swim?”

“Aw, shucks. You had me at calling me a pessimist.” Taako takes his hand and pulls himself up, taking his shawl off and, without warning, sprinting towards the water. “Last one there sucks shit!”

They race, then, like kids, careless and giggling as they run, bare feet against the hot sand moving towards the ocean, as if they’ve not got a care in the world. And maybe they don’t, then. Maybe, without ever admitting it, that conversation touches something within Taako and he realises he maybe  _ should  _ be appreciating his life a bit more, before he ends up like the cadavers that Kravitz comes across daily. Maybe, with the sun shining down, the ocean cold around his ankles, his son and his best friends at his side, a super soaker full of seawater in his hand, he should let himself be happy.

He does. He lets himself be happy, blissfully so, ignoring whatever BuzzFeed’s top interviewer might have to say about his show, or worse, what the nagging thoughts in his own head try to argue. He lets himself laugh until he gets a stitch when Kravitz’s foot touches seaweed and he screams like a little girl. He lets his heart swell with love as Angus rides on Magnus’ shoulders to drown Carey and Killian in water. He lets himself be…  _ himself _ , just this once, without fear of rebuttal. The water is freezing, the sun boiling, the sand coarse against his skin and he lets himself enjoy it, every second.

He looks at Kravitz, once again hearing the echo of his voice in his head,  _ I’m glad I have you _ , and it makes his chest ache in the best way. Taako thinks to himself how grateful he is to have him, too, to have found this friendship out of the blue, out of pure luck.

He almost thinks fate, but that’s dumb, and cheesy, and Taako refuses to let anything else be in control of this for him, he thinks. Either way, he’s grateful.

He doesn't say that aloud though. Of course not.

Then again, he thinks to himself, as they all wander towards shore, their line of cars parked together - he looks at Kravitz and catches Kravitz looking right back at him, and the other man smiles wider, winking at him quickly before turning back to his conversation with Killian, an acknowledgement of that look so brief he would have doubted it otherwise - some things don’t need to be said.

-

On the way home, Barry drives he and Lup, with a very passed out Angus and Merle in the back. Taako had, in the end, decided to drive back to Lucretia’s for a while after inspiration struck her for a new video and when Lucretia is in the mood to plan, plan she shall. He and Lup had readily offered to babysit Angus for the extra hour or so necessary, knowing the sea air would knock him out immediately, as it does with all kids.

As well as all Merle Highchurch’s, too, apparently.

Lup looks out the window as they drive, music in the background keeping them company, until she speaks. “You see them hug, earlier?”

“Mhm.” Barry nods, having expected his conversation ever since he spotted it himself. He makes another glance, just triple checking that his nephew is asleep. “Surely, they’re going to date soon.”

“I wouldn’t hold out hope.” Lup sighs, shaking her head. Barry glances at her quickly, a moment being all it takes to appreciate how beautiful she is, soaking it in before turning his attention back to the road. “Taako is  _ so  _ unaware of his feelings sometimes.”

“Maybe we should spell it out for him.” Barry laughs, but it’s only half a joke. “Set them up - parent trap them!”

“I’m not parent trapping my twin brother, Barold.” Lup giggles and Barry cracks a wider smile at the sound, so familiar but never growing old. “But, like… would it be totally irresponsible to give ‘em both a fuck load of vodka and hope that does something?”

“Lup, my love, you’ve had worse ideas. That could work.”

Lup nods then, both to herself and to him, her voice a mix of thoughtfulness and determination. “Yeah. That could work.”

-

At Lucretia’s house, in between scheduling and, admittedly, drinking more than just  _ one  _ glass of wine each, Taako takes the time to check his Instagram, respond to some fans about the show, and stick a like on Kravitz’s newest post - a picture of them all from the beach, a black and white filter masking the sunny day. The picture itself is gorgeous, all of them beaming at the camera, a picture of love and family. He decides, however, that a little more time spent bothering Kravitz isn’t time wasted.

**me:** hey krav why’s your instagram so fucking gothic

**crabitz:** You hardly have room to speak. I like smart casual and formalwear! I like the colour black! Its simple.

**me:** tell me when your morbid obsession of death started. Ghosts? spicy childhood trauma? was that conductor story just to throw me off your overgrown emo aesthetic

**crabitz:** Your aesthetic sometimes looks like if disco fucked a second hand store that has been ravaged by raccoons.

**me:** oh stop baby you’re making me blush

**crabitz:** You’re truly something else, Taako.

**me:** being a little menace in your life brings me joy! you’re much less uptight than a month or so ago

**me:** i took that stick right outta your ass and replaced it with joy

**crabitz:** Please stop talking.

“What are you smiling at, hm?” Lucreita asks, tone heavy with the suggestion that she might just already know.

“What? Oh.” Taako shakes his head, turning his phone off and putting it down. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”


	5. a drink too many

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: alcohol and mentions of sick

The phone in Angus’ hand turns on with a cheerful  _ bing  _ and  _ whoosh  _ and Taako visibly cringes at the sound, regretting the decision before hearing Lup’s voice materialise in his mind and chastise him for not letting the kid have fun. And, he supposes, a phone is fun. A phone with strict as hell parental settings for now, because as far as Taako is concerned, IQ higher than Einstein’s or not, Angus is a baby and babies do NOT get twitter. He can have YouTube and he can text people and Taako can work very hard to not panic about his kid growing up, no big deal, no siree. 

“Oh! It’s on! It’s working!” Angus beams, waving the device in the air and practically jumping in excitement. Taako makes a mental note to make very clear the distinction between the family group chats Angus is in and those he isn’t. “You need to text me! ”

“Okay, okay, hold on a second buckaroo.” Taako chuckles, double checking Angus’ first ever phone number and typing it into his phone, pausing for a second before typing the first message his son will ever receive.

**me:** testing testing 123 is the small boy getting the texts

_ Bing.  _ The noise across the room as Angus sits happily on the couch, beaming wider at the receipt of his first text. Taako watches small thumbs fly across the keyboard.

**Ango McDango:** :D Hi Taako!!!

**me:** sorry idk a taako wrong number

**Ango McDango:** Taako, you texted me first! You’re being silly!

“Taako.” Angus whines and it takes everything in him not to laugh, nonchalantly typing and ignoring his son’s complaints.

**me:** welcome to the automated duck image hotline send STOP if you want to end the subscription

He hears a huff across the room, steals a glance over to Angus, whose eyebrows are furrowed in a pissed off expression all together too funny to see on such a baby-faced kid. Unsurprisingly, a notification on Taako’s phone follows shortly.

**Ango McDango:** I can see you typing these!

**me:** request processing: typing duck

Taako quickly searches for and sends along a picture of a duck at a keyboard and thinks for a minute about how cool the internet is, how he could be reading up on anything in the world, gaining knowledge that would improve him as a person, make him smarter and more well-rounded as an individual - but no, he can google pictures of ducklings to annoy a preteen.

“ _ Daaad. _ ” Angus complains again, but there’s a giggle suppressed behind the words. “Stop ignoring me! I can see you!”

When there’s no response verbally, Angus texts him again. Taako doesn’t hesitate with his response.

**Ango McDango:** You’re not half as funny as you think you are ☹

**me:** request processing: funny duck

The image sends and Taako hears a loud groan across the room and he would laugh, begins to, even, before he’s hit hard in the face by a pillow thrown with surprising strength.

“Hey! Don’t damage the goods!” Taako laughs after moving the altogether too heavy throw pillow from his face, beaming over at Angus who still looks delightfully pissed off.

“Your jokes are getting worse. They’re, like, almost as bad as Merle’s.”

Taako gasps and the hurt in it is not entirely faked. “Low blow, Agnes. You wound me.”

“You deserve it!”

“Ouch, again! Jeez, I need to stop being an asshole, it’s rubbing off on you.” Taako jokes, or at least 60% jokes, before relenting. “Okay, fine, I’ll stop being an annoying dad just in case you start hating me early or some shit. I’m not prepared for that phase to come along before you hit, like, thirteen.”

“Be nicer to me, then.” Angus sticks his tongue out before grinning and moving over to the sofa next to Taako. “Can I text Kravitz?”

“Oh,” Taako smiles, feeling something inside him warm slightly, endeared once again by Angus’ desire to impress Kravitz, to be around him, to talk to him. Taako often sees bits of himself in his son, unsurprisingly, and this is another one. He’s not sure if this is so much as inherited from him, though, as it is from simply knowing Kravitz, spending time in his presence. “Yeah, kiddo, of course. I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear from you.”

-

Kravitz is at lunch when his phone pings with two consecutive messages - the first, a warning from Taako that Angus has his phone and is set to text him. The second, well, is exactly what he expected, a text so easy to read in the boy’s voice that he may as well have said it aloud.

**Angus:** Hello Mr. Kravitz, Sir!

Kravitz can’t help but beam as he reads it, putting his food down to respond straight away.

**me:** Hello, Angus! Is this the phone your dad got you? You get everything set up alright?

**Angus:** Yes perfectly fine thank you sir!

**me:** Buddy, you don’t have to call me sir. You can call me Kravitz.

**Angus:** I feel a bit rude doing that!

**me:** Don’t be silly. We’re friends, Angus. How are you, anyways, bud?

**Angus:** Good thankyou!! I’m reading a super awesome murder mystery book that Aunty Lup got me!

**me:** Age appropriate?

**Angus:** Not in the slightest! Extremely gruesome!

Kravitz laughs aloud in the breakroom at that, quickly clasping a hand over his mouth to stifle it, well aware that laughter from the funeral home’s staff room is  _ not  _ a good sign, not at all, and even more aware of some of his less friendly coworker’s eyes regarding him with confusion and even a bit of suspicion.  _ Rude _ , he thinks to himself, thinking further that if they maybe took a stick out of their asses sometimes, they could have a quiet laugh at work, too, gods forbid. Realises he sounds like Taako and makes a silent pact to himself to  _ never  _ let him know that, lest it inflate his ego more.

**me:** As is to be expected. You’re too smart for books for your age, anyway, but just be careful. We wouldn’t want you getting too spooked.

**Angus:** Thank you, sir! I do have a reading age so high that it broke my school’s computer system! They don’t know what to do with me!

**Angus:** oh, sorry, I mean Kravitz!

**me:** I’m not surprised. I have to get back to work now, Angus, but thank you for messaging me! I hope to see you again soon. Tell your dad I say hi, too.

**Angus:** He says hi back!

**Angus:** HEY KrAV I WRESTLED MY KDIS PHONE OFF HIMm AND HES PuncHING ME OK BYE

**me:** Ahahaha. Hi, Taako.

Kravitz is smiling at his phone by this point, cheeks dimpled in delight at the mental image of Taako and Angus wrestling over a stupid phone. It’s wonderful, and very on-brand for them. It’s a strange family, definitely, but from what he’s seen? He doesn’t think he could imagine a happier bunch of people. The texts die down, then, as he imagines Angus claims his phone back and gets on with texting other members of his family. Or, the members of his family, Kravitz corrects himself mentally. Suggesting he’s part of it is a bit too imposing, he thinks.

It’s at the end of his lunch break when his phone chimes for a final time, just as he was about to switch it off to return to the day’s work, somewhat disheartened that he hadn’t heard anything else.

**Angus:** Mr Kravitz?

**me:** Yeah, Ango?

**Angus:** I’m happy you met my dad. I’m glad we all know you! You make us happy.

His heart swells as he reads the messages, an overwhelming sensation that he doesn’t know how to place, doesn’t know what to do with. Just beams at the message for a moment longer, as if expecting the words to squirm off the screen and disappear, as if it was all a figment of his imagination. Unsurprisingly, they don’t. Kravitz takes a screenshot for safekeeping nonetheless, saves it in a folder marked with a heart that he doesn’t let anyone know he has, alongside pictures of him and his friends, family, happy memories. A folder for bad days.

He returns to his work, gloomy as it is, with a newfound cheerfulness settled in, tucked right beside his heart.  _ You make us happy _ . He’s glad he can do that. Glad that he can bring something to their lives, as they have for him. Glad that in a family so happy there’s room for just a bit more joy too, he supposes.

Glad that maybe, counting himself as part of the  _ them  _ that is their family isn’t too much.

-

It’s the next day when Taako receives a call from Lup, not so much as inviting him to plans as informing him that he has plans to go to that night, that he’s not allowed to stress about a babysitter, they sorted it already, and that they’re all going to get very, very drunk.

It’s far from the first time plans like this have been sprung on him, and Taako would be hard-pressed to say no.

It’s how he finds himself sat in a bar alongside Lup, Barry and Lucretia, two cocktails down by 8pm.

“Dingus, off your phone.” Lup kicks him under the table, and it would have been fair to call it  _ lightly _ if not for her wearing Doc Martens, so it’s safe to say that it fucking hurts, and Taako makes her well aware of it.

“Hey!” He flips her off, ignores Barry and Lucretia letting out identical sighs and shaking their heads, Barry going the extra mile to look around the room and make apologetic glances towards other patrons. “I’m texting the kid’s babysitter.”

“Well, fucking  _ stop _ , buddy.” Lup laughs, carefree in the way that shows she doesn’t have a kid, that she can know something logically, know that Angus will be fine, and not be eaten away with worry nonetheless. “He’s probably teaching Abigail her astrophysics homework by now.”

“Yeah, maybe, but the house could also be on fire.”

Lup opens her mouth to respond but is cut off by Barry, as always attempting to be a voice of reason. “Taaks, he’ll be fine. Abigail knows what she’s doing. She has all of our number’s. Tonights not a night for you to be a dad -”

“I’m always a dad, asshole.” Taako retorts, blunt for good measure, if only to prove a point.

“Whatever, yes, okay, fine. Tonight’s a night for you to be a dad  _ and  _ get shitfaced drunk. Deal?” He smiles, waving politely to the barmaid for another round before Taako can even think about complaining.

Taako takes his drink with a grateful if somewhat defeated smile, putting his phone down and trying to turn his head off and instead focus on living life like a normal person, or more specifically, one not wracked with anxiety. It’s not easy - you’d think the loud noises of the bar, the heavy press of people, the strong taste of vodka in his drink would be enough of a distraction, but it all feels  _ too  _ there, too real, too close. His foot taps anxiously on the wooden stool he’s sat at and he hopes it doesn’t shake the table.

He chimes into the conversation where appropriate but takes the time to take in the decor, looking at framed photos of patrons across the wall, the bar that isn’t quite clean enough, the flickering lightbulb third from the wall. He takes in the sound of glasses chiming against each other like birdsong without any of the peacefulness to accompany it., overlaid with the incomprehensible chatter of the patrons surrounding him. He doesn’t  _ like  _ this, can’t settle, feels an awful uncomfortableness that makes him  _ really  _ want to dip, Taako out, goodbye.

Then the door chimes with the sound of new people entering and he sees Magnus and Merle and it’s as if another piece of the ground is returned to him, anchoring him to the floor. He gives them a smile that is more relieved that it’s meant to be, he reckons, and knows they’ll all notice it.

His anxiety can be a lot, a fun mixer to the metaphorical vodka of depression, and some days are a lot worse than others. But, shit, he thinks to himself with a newfound sturdiness as Magnus excitedly approaches the table, readying up for a hug, undoubtedly, having his friends helps.

“Taako!” Magnus exclaims, far too loud. An indoor voice is something he’s still working on, apparently. “I didn’t know if you’d come, you boring motherfucker.”

He hears Merle’s laugh accompany him, the dwarven man hopping up onto the stool beside him and grinning. “I don’t think you’re boring! I know what it’s like to be a parent, kid, the woes and struggles we face.”

“Fuuuck, dude, I’ll put McDango back up for adoption before I start relating to you.” Taako replies, a wicked grin appearing on his face without it having to be forced and soon that tense feeling of anxiety is draining away from the foreground, buried behind the comforting presence of so many of his loved ones. It doesn’t go away, but it settles.

“How the fuck did you guys get here, then? Why weren’t you in our cab?” Taako asks. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees his wicked grin matched on Lup’s face with an extra something there, a twinkle in her eye that means trouble, and he  _ knows  _ that because her eyes are his, too. Twin benefit: you can read them as well as you read yourself.

And, of course, as if on queue, the door chimes again and in walks Kravitz, which Taako wasn’t told was part of the plan. Just from the way Lucretia sips her wine and glances at Lup, he becomes convinced that he was the only one who didn’t know and he’d have a few choice words to them, if he had the time, but he doesn’t and he curses them out for it in his head. Saves it for later for now, at least, biting his tongue with all the composure he has in him, because gods above does he want to remind them that, duh,  _ friendship _ .

Ignores the pit in his stomach at Kravitz wearing a fresh-pressed white shirt, sleeves rolled up just below the elbow. Or, tries unsuccessfully to ignore it, because he has  _ eyes  _ and Kravitz has  _ arms  _ and Taako has lost his train of thought already.  _ It’s fine _ , he thinks, delivering a sharp kick to Lup under the table as he notices her laughing into her cocktail glass. It’s fine, because it’s not his fault he has eyes. 

He found Magnus hot at one point.  _ Magnus.  _ It’s fine, he’s just gay and has eyes.

He hates that he has eyes.

Kravitz arrives at the table with a delightfully awkward smile and wave, putting his car keys in his back pocket. “Sorry for the hold up, parking was a nightmare.”

“You fucking  _ drove?”  _ Taako blurts out, apparently as a greeting, delivering another kick to Lup as she raises her eyebrows at the hint of disappointment in his voice.

“Yup, I volunteered to be designated driver.” Kravitz smiles, seeming nervous. He reaches and scratches the back of his neck and Taako notices the little embroidered skulls on the cuffs of his neatly-rolled shirt. “I don’t mind, honestly. Drinking’s never been my big thing.”

“Ugh,” Lup groans, sounding like a teenager in every film ever made. “Laaaame. We’ll fix that for you yet, Crabs.”

“Don’t pressure the man.” Lucretia chimes in, smiling, motherly. “Thank you, Kravitz. It’s much appreciated. Gives me a break from being the babysitter.”

“Don’t listen to her!” Magnus laughs heartily, elbowing Lucretia and coming dangerously close to risking spilling red wine down her white chiffon shirt. He holds a hand up in apology before she can bite his head off, then continues. “We don’t need babysitters. Don’t believe what any of these assholes has to say.”

“Hm, yeah.” Merle downs a shot. “Don’t believe the police reports, either.”

“Narc.” Taako grins at Merle, grins at all of them, feels the ground grow firmer under him. “Fuck it, if Kravitz isn’t drinking, we all have to drink extra for him. In his honour.” There comes a murmur of approval at that, the group dispersing into smaller conversations as Taako turns to face Kravitz fully.

“Hi.” Kravitz says, again. Taako is sure he looks flustered, or maybe just warm in the bar.

“Hey. I didn’t know you were coming, asshole. I’d have covered your Ubers so you could drink.”

“Really, it’s fine. Thought it would be funny to see you all drunk, I suppose. Find some scandalous stuff out to ruin your career.” He leans on the high table, smiling a bit more comfortably.

“Ah, fucking paps. Can’t shake em.” Taako smiles right back. “If you’re not drinking, at least let me buy you a coke, or something. You drink coke, yeah?”

“Lemonade?”

“Deal.” Taako hops off his seat and walks over to the bar, well aware of the five sets of eyes (or, well, four and a half) burning into his and Kravitz’s back as he walks away. Assholes, he thinks, knowing for a fact that they’re talking about him.

Back at the table, his friends just about break their necks craning them to hear a slither of what the two men are saying as they walk away. Lup is grinning from ear to ear. “This could be it, y’know.”

“Don’t push ‘em,” Merle says softly, chuckling with a warmth that’s almost as parental as Lucretia’s smile, the two of them sharing a knowing glance with an air of maturity their friends often lack in their excitement. “They’ll get there.”

“Yeah, in about fifty years.” Barry takes a sip of his beer, puts his other arm around Lup, rubbing his thumb across the red lace of her dress. “If we’re lucky.”

At the bar, Taako leans over and quickly orders two drinks - lemonade and a pornstar martini, grinning at how Kravitz cringes at the name - before he nudges the taller man with his elbow. “Glad you're here tonight, crabcakes.”

“Crabcakes?” He chuckles. “Another one, really?”

“Never have too many nicknames.” From the huff that Kravitz lets out, Taako isn’t so sure he agrees, but they’re smiling at each other nonetheless. He pays for their drinks and drags Kravitz back over to the table, well aware of the hush that falls over his friends as they reapproach. He doesn’t think Kravitz notices, or if he does, he doesn’t let it show.

Less than gracefully, Taako sits himself back on the high stool, working against the knee-length skirt he’s wearing. “So, assholes, what are we celebrating? Don’t tell me I got all dolled up pretty for nothing. Although, like, you’re welcome.”

Lucretia chuckles despite herself, all the more relaxed outside of a work environment each time he sees her recently, even after years of working together. It’s nice, Taako thinks, to see the boss lady settle herself within the family. “Are you wanting us to be celebrating your show, perchance, Taako?”

“Pfft, no!” He says.

“Yep.” Comes the response from at  _ least  _ three of the others round the table, only to be echoed by Lup’s bellowing wheeze of laughter and Taako blushes furiously which of course makes Lup laugh harder.

“I hate you all. Hate you all so much.” Taako groans as more join in Lup’s laughter but he feels a crescendo in his heart so light and airy that he might explode, full of too much love the people surrounding him to really know what he should do with it, other than insult them. “You all suck the most shit and none of you get my fortune when I die a tragic death.”

Magnus takes the opportunity to hook an arm around Taako and ruffle his hair, much to Taako’s abject horror and failed attempts to shove him off. “Pft, we’re not here for the money, Taquito. Though it helps make you less annoying.”

“Funny. Ha ha. I am in  _ hysterics. _ ” Taako deadpans back, finally shoving him off and fixing his hair, swiftly reaching over and stealing a shot of vodka near Magnus’ beer as reparations. “You fucked up my hair, this is just tax.” He shots it professionally, cringing only a  _ bit  _ at the awful taste of straight vodka, the slight burn it leaves in his chest.

“What I was going to say,” he continues, “before you all fucking bullied me, is that we should celebrate something. Fuck it, if it has to be me, I’ll get up on that cross for y’all. Ch’boi will be the martyr.  _ Buuuut _ , since this is the one time in fucking months that we’ve been out together - and we have a new member among our ranks - I say fuck your basic bar plans.”

Lucreita looks offended for a second, and Barry confused, but as always, Lup is immediately by her brother’s side. In seriousness and in silliness, as he can trust her to be. “I think you might have a fucking point there, Taks. I say we ditch this joint.”

“I… I just got a lemonade.” Kravitz says, a precautious tone of voice matching Lucretia’s  _ almost  _ hidden panic at her plan not being followed. Although edging towards tipsy (or, if he were to be honest, happily heading there on a bullet train), Taako notices her tension at plans not being followed, even off-duty.

“Lulu is  _ right _ , gang. Clubbing. We’re going clubbing.”

Merle raises a brow but grins, shrugging. “I mean, you’re only young once!”

“Yeah,” comes a snort from Magnus. “And your turn passed about four fucking decades ago, grandpa.” 

“Now kids, stop fighting.” Barry chimes in, giving Lucretia a reassuring smile. “It’s only one night. How bad can clubbing be, really?”

An eventual agreement from Lucretia, more enthusiastic than anyone expected once convinced, and several rounds of shots later, the answer to Barry Bluejeans’ supposedly hypothetical question is realised - it can really, really be quite bad.

They arrive at the club more than a step past sober, clambering out of both Kravitz’s car and the Uber they used to haul the entirety of the crew to the same location with an eagerness that is hit across the face with the reality of clubbing as soon as they’ve paid their entry. 

It would be suffice to say that the five stages of grief are painted across both Barry, Kravitz and Lucretia’s faces as soon as they see the dancefloor, an over-crowded mass of bodies silhouetted against multi colored strobe-lights, almost bioluminescent. It might be more accurate to call it four out of five, really, since the grimaces on their faces show absolutely no sign of acceptance.

However, the law of democracy means that the majority wins and any remnants of anxiety that Taako had lingering in the hours beforehand are shut down with Lup, Magnus and Merle at his side, as enthusiastic about the atmosphere as he is, the grins on their faces almost uniform. It’s been  _ so  _ long since Taako let himself be like this, let himself completely let loose. The alcohol helps, but not as much as the company, and he decides that he will get every last person there to enjoy it with him if it kills him.

Plus: he has his best friends to help him, so it seems more than manageable.

He grabs Lup by the elbow, stopping her and Magnus from their previous bee-line for the dancefloor, pulling them both close and shouting to them and Merle over the thumping of the music. “We need to get the asshole trio over to the left to have a good time!”

He gestures to the other three, the picture perfect image of wallflowers. Lucretia looks somewhere between scared and disgusted, Barry seems confused and Kravitz looks as lost as a kid at a carnival and Taako doesn’t stop himself from laughing, the alcohol in his system letting it slip out like it’s nothing. It feels nice, for once, he thinks. And he hasn’t gone too far with it - feels his therapist pat him on the back for that one.

With a quick series of hand motions between the four of them, they devise a quick plan to get the other three on their level and riding what Taako refers to as the “hype train to party-ville.” Of course, Lup, Magnus and Merle are on board and by his side - he’d expect nothing less after all these years. Moreover, they understand the improvised hand language with fluent expertise, nodding and grinning back to him. Taako feels a surge of stupid gratuity towards them, pushes sentimentality down, once again attempting to hide the fact that he is, in fact, a soppy drunk, protecting that information as if it’s state secrets.

(Of course, they all know. Candlenights ‘18 showed them that, when Taako had had not one but about twelve glasses too many mulled wine and cried his makeup off waxing poetic about how much they all meant to him. He almost made them sign a NDA about that, though, and they don’t need a reminder.)

As if it were a plan devised months ago, the four of them split up in three separate directions, walking towards their friends with the confidence of super spies in a heist movie.

Lup, of course, heads towards Barry. It’s sickening how he looks at her, Taako notes, but he’s never been happier for another person on the planet. He watches Barry look at Lup with all the love in the world as she approaches, watches him drink in the sight of her as if he’ll never get another chance. Barry has always been like that, as if convinced one day Lup would say sike and up and leave, as if he couldn’t quite believe what was happening, an elaborate prank including a fucking  _ wedding _ . He’s always taken her in as if she’s an art piece and Taako doesn’t blame him one bit - his sister is the most beautiful woman in the world and although Taako wouldn’t go so far as to be that soppy towards her without monetary benefit, he’d magic missile anyone who disagreed.

As if reading his tipsy thoughts and proving the point, Lup stops in her stride and strikes a dramatic pose as none other than  _ Gimme Gimme Gimme  _ by ABBA starts playing. Taako throws his head back with a cackling laugh, bursting with love and pride. In an instant, as the beat changes, Lup moves from the pose of one arm in her hair, head to the side, leg pointed out to the side like a ballet dancer, right to pointing determinedly at Barry and motioning for him to come over to her.

Taako can practically see the trail of lovehearts in the air he follows over, and he’s not quite sure if Barry’s feet touch the ground.

Soon enough, they’re dancing together, Lup’s red dress twirling round like a carnival ride. Taako’s heart impossibly grows another size.

Next, he watches Merle and Magnus approach Lucretia, who raises an eyebrow in tired fondness and expectation as they come at her from either side, both offering out a hand as if they’re attempting to court her. He sees her laugh, her nose scrunching as it does when she really means it, that warm glow of fondness never leaving her face, like a light guiding them all, like the flicker of a fire. She takes their hands with what Taako knows to be mimed reluctance, curtseys to them and before the next lyric can be sung they’re spinning their way towards the dancefloor, the three of them taking turns in dancing, fits of giggles bubbling out of Lucretia in a way that is so rarely seen that it makes it all the more wonderful.

Magnus and Merle work like clockwork as they dance with her, working out more smiles and laughter than you might see from the woman in a week, twirling her until she stumbles and of course, they’re there to catch her. Taako sees her nod a thank you and squeeze each of their hands tighter, undoubtedly an  _ I love you guys  _ in as clear a language as if she spoke it to them, and just as meaningful. The trio head towards the bar and even though he can’t  _ hear  _ it, Taako knows that Merle is making some awful joke, as he always does. Magnus will be ribbing him on and Lucretia will be in the middle, watching with all the love in the world.

That leaves Kravitz, and as the other two depart, he looks more lost than ever. Taako reckons that it’s his job to be the guide, in this case, and marches over to him with a determination unparalleled by any other moving creature on the planet. Kravitz looks like a deer in the headlights as he notices Taako approaching and holds his hands up in surrender before the elf can even speak.

“If you think you’re getting me on that dance floor, you’re going to be disappointed, Taako.” He shouts over the thumping of the music.

“No fuckin’ way jose, you’re not denying a man in a skirt in a sweaty nightclub what he wants.” He grins, holding out his hand. “Dance with me.”

“No.” Kravitz replies, crossing his arms over his chest and failing miserably to hold back a smirk playing on his lips. “No thank you, Taako. I’m quite alright here.”

“Boring asshole.” Taako bites back, knowing that really, it’s nothing but bark. “Come on. You don’t wanna dance with a  _ celebrity _ ?” He punctuates the sentence with a wiggle of his eyebrows that draws a delightful laugh from Kravitz. “Come on, Krav. I don’t like it when people say no!”

“Not used to it, are you, hm?” He chuckles, leaning down slightly to get closer to Taako, to be able to hear him over the ever-increasing volume. “Not many people seem to say it to you.”

“Yeah, well, I pay ‘em to coddle me.”

Kravitz laughs again and Taako is practically bouncing on his feet with desire to  _ go  _ and  _ be there  _ and  _ dance _ \- but not alone. He wants, with utmost certainty, to dance with Kravitz. The last drink he chugged at the bar seems to be hitting him now, the delay catching up to him and slapping him across the face with a new wave of intoxication. He grins wider at the woozy familiarity of it that feels like youth. Kravitz speaks again, putting a light hand on Taako’s elbow, as if having noticed a swaying that Taako wasn’t aware of. “You don’t pay me. Where’s my cheque?”

“Ever thought, Crabitz,” Taako pauses, taking a step backwards towards the dance floor. As expected, Kravitz follows instantly, that firm but gentle press of a hand never leaving his arm. “That I don’t want  _ you  _ to coddle me?”

“I… had never thought of it that way, no.” Kravitz responds, speaking past a lump in his throat, clearly. It only makes Taako beam brighter. “What makes me different then, hm?”

Taako shrugs, moving to grab Kravitz’s hand in his own in one quick motion, moving backwards more and more rapidly, step by step approaching the dance floor, the wicked grin never leaving his face. The question hits him like the alcohol did, with a moment's delay, and Taako is powerless to stop the tumble of sincerity from pouring out. “I don’t know. It just feels like you get me.”

He notices Kravitz’s mouth begin to do that awfully endearing open-shut-open motion and before he can dwell on it, before either of them can, he’s pulled Kravitz into the writhing mass of dancers, fighting through the crowd like a battlefield until he finds the circle where his friends dance together. Before his brain can wander, and almost subconsciously, Taako calls over a shot-girl and buys another round, pressing whatever note he finds in his pocket into her hands and taking the shots in synchronised perfection with Lup as Barry and Kravitz watch in abject horror and Merle and Magnus and even Lucretia, for a moment, cheer like the college students they were together all those years ago.

They dance like nobody’s watching and Taako couldn’t give less of a shit if they were. They’re all laughing as the songs move from cheesy to cheesier pop hits, singing along at the top of their lungs and everyone but Kravitz getting progressively drunker, gigglier, happier, dancier. To Kravitz’s credit, he seems just as joyful watching the twins twirl around each other, the red lace skirt of Lup’s dress and the rippled purple of Taako’s knocking into each other. When Taako, spurred as much by drunken confidence as by a lack of sense and coordination, falls into his chest, they both stall and stare only for a second before Kravitz takes the initiative to dance with Taako, taking his hand and spinning him until his skirt flurries again and they’re both laughing and Taako doesn’t know if he’ll ever stop.

And then things get blurry.

Taako feels like he blinks and suddenly he’s outside in a smoking area, which is funny, because he was just dancing. He looks at Lup with blurry eyes and he doesn’t feel anxious, nor worried, just happy and floaty because she’s there, so he must be fine. That’s how it always is with her, he muses drunkenly.

“The fuck are you saying, dingus?” Lup snorts, and Taako realises he must have said some of that aloud.

“Oh.” Taako snorts back, their laughs identical. “Not a fucking clue, goofus. Why are we out here?”

“Don’t let me vape in the club.” Lup sighs, dramatic, wistful. “What an oppressive world we live in.” There’s a pause, and Taako cannot tell if she’s joking. “Anyways. I got a fucking bone to pick with you, Taks.”

“I didn’t steal your skirt, Lulu, promise. I boughts this’a one, alls with my own money.” He nods, as if it’s an accomplishment.

“No, asshole. I’m talking about  _ that _ .  _ Him. _ ” She nods and Taako follows her gaze with unfocused eyes, squinting until he sees Kravitz sat on the sidewalk with Magnus, who is bent over and clearly in a worse for wear state.  _ Oh _ , he remembers, his brain putting the pieces together.  _ They’re all very drunk, and Magnus is probably crying over his wife, or being sick, or both. That makes sense. _

He doesn’t say anything, so Lup continues. “I’m talking about how you clearly are, like, ready to jump that guy’s bones.”

“Magnus?!” Taako exclaims, horrified.

“No, asshole, this isn’t 2004 again.  _ Kravitz.”  _ She sing-songs it. Taako hates his sister.

“Shut up, Lu, he’s hot. But’s - no,  _ but _ -” he forces himself to enunciate, realising how hard it is. “But he’s my friend. Ever heard of ‘em?”

“I got plenty. I also got a fucking husband, Taako, and you do too. You’re just not acting on it.”

“Shut uuuuuuup,” he drags out, bumping his hip into her. “Not everything has to be  _ like that _ . Plus, like,  _ fuck.  _ Have you  _ seen  _ him? In that shirt? Woof. He wouldn’t even fucking  _ bother _ , Lup.”

Lup hisses as if she’s a kettle boiling over. “You’re so fucking dumb. He wants you so bad. It’s, uh,  _ gross _ . I have to watch my ex-coworker thirst over my baby brother!”

“I’m older. Fuck you.” Taako mumbles, finding himself leaning on a railing with his head in his hands, reminded that he’s older than he used to be and has had more vodka in one night than in maybe the month prior. Age looks good on him, though objectively, he’s still young, but it sure as hell doesn’t  _ feel  _ good.

“You should kiss him.” Lup states, factually.

“Shut up. You should. Go away.” He grunts, ignoring the burning in his cheeks, blaming the cold or the alcohol. Suddenly, he’s sunk to sit on the floor and he’s very tired and he’s thinking about kissing Kravitz and he feels like he’s going to die and he, once again, hates his sister. “Fuck, I hate you, I hate when you think and say things.”

“You hate when I’m right.”

“Who’s right?” Kravitz’s voice materialises against the background noise and Taako lets out a little scream.

“NOBODY.” He collects himself and lets words tumble out.. “Crabitz, I want to go  _ home _ .”

“I know, bud. I think you all do.” He turns to Barry, who has apparently been stood by Lup the whole time, and Taako feels like the ground should eat him. He’d appreciate it. “You guys okay to get a cab? I got Magnus and Merle. And, uh, I should take Taako. Maybe. If that’s alright with you, of course.”

“Of course, Crabby Patty Pattercake Baker’s Man.” Lup chuckles, linking one arm with Barry as she sways slightly and spotting Lucretia talking to a bouncer by the door, calling her over and grabbing her other arm. “I for one am going the  _ fuck  _ to bed now, so, Barold? Get me an uber.”

“Yes ma’am.” He chuckles, nods to Kravitz, and leads the ladies attached like a chain to him down the path ever-so-carefully.

Taako closes his eyes and feels the cold stone of the building against his head, enjoys it, feels very tired. Not tired enough, though, to ignore Lup calling down from the path towards their oncoming cab, “have your wicked ways with my brother, and be saaaafe!”

It’s followed by a horrendous fit of giggles from both Lup and Lucretia and Taako hopes the ground eats them, too.

“I’m gonna kill everyone ‘n then… me too. Myself. Also.” He continues to mumble into his hands and without looking, he feels Kravitz’s presence next to him.

“You’ll do nothing of the sort, Taako Taco.” He speaks soft and slow and so low that Taako could climb into those words, make a bed, fall asleep in them. All he does instead is grunt in response.

He feels an arm around him, hiking him to his feet, strong and sturdy and  _ Kravitz _ and he knows he’s too drunk, but it’s fine, Kravitz has got him. He’s aware on some level that he’s heading towards Kravitz’s car, that it’s warm, that he’s cuddled up next to Magnus and Merle in the back, both as far gone as him. He’s aware they start singing to  _ Sweet Caroline _ , if only because Magnus’ vibrato of the  _ BA BA BA _ shoots him up and awake from half-consciousness, and their joint giggles lull him right back towards bed.

At some point, Magnus and Merle stumble out of the car and Taako smiles to himself, distantly aware of Julia’s sleepy voice thanking Kravitz, greeting him, ushering the men back inside. 

And then, apparently, through powers unknown, he’s home.

-

Kravitz is grateful for his decision to stay sober more than he’s grateful for any other decision he’s ever made in this moment, he thinks, as he hauls Taako towards his door. Getting him out of the car had been like navigating a giraffe on rollerskates and for the first time he’d been made aware how  _ lanky _ Taako is, all legs and arms and this drunk, no coordination. He was smiling, though, and Kravitz takes that as a good sign. It’s by a miracle of god that they make it inside the house, with Taako stubbornly insisting  _ he  _ has to be the one to open the door, to let his guest in the house.

“Upstairs, my amigo, Kravvy, pal.” Taako… demands? Kravitz thinks that’s a good enough word for it, and he obeys after making sure the door is shut behind him, double checking, already worried enough about Taako’s safety without threat of burglary.

While he has Taako sat on his bottom stair under firm instructions to  _ not fucking move _ , Kravitz gently wakes the babysitter who’s asleep in the pullout sofa of the couch. She starts slightly before recognising him, smiling and rubbing her eyes. “Is Mr. Taaco alright?”

“He’s fine, Abigail, don’t worry.” Kravitz chuckles. “Just drunk out of his ass. Was everything alright with Angus?”

“Absolutely perfect, as always.” Kravitz visibly breathes out a breath of relief he didn’t realise he was holding in the first place. “D’you mind if I book an uber home?” She asks, timid. 

“Of course not, Abigail.” Before she can protest, he books it for her and even tips whatever extra change he fishes out of his pockets. “I’m… gonna deal with him. If that's okay. Let yourself out - just, please make sure the door’s shut.”

She smiles, thanks and salutes him casually and Kravitz rushes back out to Taako, to find him slumped against the wall, dozing.

“Buddy.” He pokes him. “Taako. Hey.  _ Taako.” _

“Mph.” The elf opens one eye, annoyed at the disturbance before smiling soft. “Hey, Krav. Can… What the fuck, am I home?”

“Yeah, bud.” Kravitz chuckles, grateful for once for his forced trips to the gym as he manages to haul Taako to his feet with surprising ease. He guides, or, more accurately, hauls, Taako up the stairs, leading him to his bed. 

“I feel… intoxicated.” Taako declares, thoughtfully, as he collapses into the mattress, smiling like a cat who got the cream as he starfishes out. 

Kravitz can’t help but laugh, shaking his head in amusement and perching on the edge of the bed tactfully, an awkward cluster of nerves in smart-casual clothing but far too concerned about the other man to leave him alone. “Alcohol has a nasty habit of doing that to someone, yes.”

“Hate that shit.” Taako mumbles, throwing an arm over his face dramatically. “God, I feel fucking  _ dead _ .”

“You’re okay, Taaks.” When Kravitz’s voice softens involuntarily, he lets it. Reckons Taako’s drunk enough to not notice it, or if he does, nowhere near sober enough to analyse it. He reaches out and places a hand on top of Taako’s remaining hand on the mattress. “Let’s get you to bed, hm?”

“You, my friend,” Taako announces, and it stings, but that’s okay, Kravitz reminds himself. “Are the clevererest. There… Fuck, that’s too many er’s.”

“Mhm.” Kravitz says, moving to where he knows Taako keeps his pajamas - remembers from their PJ movie day, smiles openly at the memory. He grabs an old top, one from a merchandised restaurant Taako used to work at, worn through and faded with age, and throws it over to Taako, shortly followed by a pair of shorts he finds tucked at the back of the drawer.. “Get changed, I’m looking at the wall.”

He hears a grunt and a mumble of complaint, shortly followed by a shuffling of materials. “You’re missin’ the show. People paid for this, y’know.”

He smiles at the wall, taking in a framed picture of Taako, Angus, Lup and Barry at the latter’s wedding. They all look beautiful and it fills Kravitz’s heart with a strange sense of pride, even though it was taken years before he crossed paths with the family as more than a distant colleague. “You know, getting paid ten dollars to strip as part of a dare doesn’t mean people paid you to strip. They paid you to keep being stupid.”

“Hustle don’t stop!” Taako exclaims, as if it’s some sort of reasonable answer. Kravitz shakes his head, smiling nonetheless, accepting it as one. “Look, fuck, my modesty’s preserved. C’mere.”

Hesitantly and with a sense of nervous reluctance, Kravitz turns around, and he knows in his stomach that he is very terrified to cross a boundary. He also knows that Taako will  _ not  _ stop slapping the duvet until Kravitz sits down so, with a slight sigh of trepidation, he does as he’s instructed. “Still not good at taking no for an answer, hm?”

“Worse when drunk, apparently.” The words flow together as if proving their own point and Taako hiccups, his whole body moving with it and Kravitz laughs softly at the look of disgust on Taako’s face.

The elf is sat up, leaning against the bed frame, woozy and evidently fighting sleep. Kravitz sits as close to him as he dares, acutely aware of the thunderous beating of his heart, only matched by the left-over ringing in his ears from the noise of the club. He sits facing Taako and gently places one of his hands over the other man’s, squeezing lightly in concern. He thinks he dies, for a moment, at the readiness Taako squeezes back with.

“You’re way too fucking nice to me, Crabbo.” Taako smiles, moving forward. “Dunno how I got you in my life.”

“Stalked twitter.” He answers matter of factly, gulping slightly after it, unable to swallow the surge of feeling in his chest. “You deserve good things, Taako. I’m glad I can be one of them.”

“You’re, like.” Another hiccup, a furrowed brow, a strand of blonde hair falling down over his face. Kravitz’s hand moves on impulse to brush it from his forehead. Remembers when Taako brushed the flour from his face, gulps again. His heart hammers faster. Kravitz remembers reading that hummingbird’s wings beat 60-something times a second. Wonders if they have anything on what he’s feeling. Taako smiles at him, soft and sweet and devastating. “You’re like, uh. One of the best, Krav.”

“Thank you, Taako. You’re one of the best in mine, too.” His response comes out strained, weighed heavy with the anchor of emotion inseparable from those words.

Taako moves closer again, that sweetest of smiles not budging from his awful, dumb, wonderful, beautiful face. Kravitz curses his head - wishes he could blame those thoughts on the alcohol, knows he’s stone cold sober. 

When Taako sways forward, rests his hand on Kravitz’s neck for a moment, Kravitz thinks he’s dead and in heaven or hell or purgatory or something or somewhere. There’s a look, then, as definite and unmistakable as that pressure of soft hands against his skin, as the smell of alcohol on Taako’s breath as his face gets closer, far too close for friendship, maybe, he thinks. A glance downwards, gorgeous hazel eyes looking most definitely at,  _ oh no _ , Kravitz thinks. His lips.

Taako stares at him and he feels like a deer in the headlights, not for the first time this night, trapped not only out of shock but because,  _ fuck _ , he doesn’t want anyone else to ever look at him when he has Taako’s attention. Wants that eye contact, that attention, forever. Doesn’t know what to do when he’s in it, doesn’t know what he’d do without it. The look in his eyes, behind the hazy drunkenness, is terrifyingly hopeful. It’s… unmistakable, Kravitz thinks, a want and a hope and he’s moving in, definitely trying to move Kravitz that bit closer, those soft hands still on the back of his neck and it’s too much for him to begin to comprehend and Kravitz knows he  _ needs  _ to move, that Taako is far too drunk and --

And he doesn’t have to worry about it, because Taako twists his body like a slinky and is sick off the side of his bed.

“Oh holy  _ shit!”  _ Taako yells, apparently shocking himself out of his own trance. “Oh my fuuuucking god, I can’t -- oh my -- I am so fucking sorryohmygodohfuck.”

There’s a rapid welling of tears behind Taako’s eyes that snaps Kravitz out of his own horrified state. Jumping into action, he springs to his feet, expertly kicking off his newly-ruined shoes off his feet. He doesn’t give himself time to think about what nearly happened, let alone how absolutely  _ awful _ puke is, nope, he’s too busy. He runs into Taako’s bathroom, far too aware of the balance between the speed and quiet necessary to look after Taako and not wake Angus. He grabs toilet paper and a glass of water and rushes them back into the room, a flurry of activity until most of the damage control has been done, or as much as he can stomach.

Taako is still weepy when he’s finished, after being forced to chug numerous glasses of water and painkillers, and Kravitz finds that his heart is able to break for the guy who just puked on the floor and  _ him _ and is once again reminded that things are really, really,  _ really  _ bad for him. The elf looks up at him with big, sad eyes, once again patting the bed, this time the other side of it.

“Please. Si’down. Promise I won’t puke on you this time.” He sniffles slightly, wiping his face with his arm.

He had Kravitz at  _ please _ , so of course he sits, finds himself automatically putting an arm around him, as Taako instantly buries into his side, a show of casual affection that makes his breath stutter. “You’re alright, Taako. I got you.”

“I know. You always do.” He mumbles, more into Kravitz’s shirt than into the room. “Please stay tonight.”

“Of course.” Kravitz nods, lightly moving his arm down to let Taako closer, rubbing circles into the small of his back. 

“Thank you.” He mumbles, and it’s not long until he’s flat out.

Kravitz stays stalled still, frozen like a statue until he’s sure that Taako won’t wake, then lays him down to sleep as carefully as possible. Takes a moment, perhaps selfishly, to look at him and sigh a soft sigh, painfully aware that his chest aches more than before, not less. It’s always like this, spending time with Taako. The ache never dies down, only grows, no matter how much he hopes.

He can’t do anything but smile, though, watching as his blonde hair fans out on the pillows like a modern-day Rapunzel, as he sleeps with a tiny smile resting on his own face, as he curls up and hugs the duvet he’s been tucked under closer, hugging it like a kid with a blanket.

With a sense of longing, Kravitz imagines kissing his forehead, touching his hand, even sleeping next to him.

Of course, he doesn’t.

He takes a shirt from Taako’s drawers, the one with the best chance of fitting him, creeps down the stairs nervously, avoiding the squeaking floorboard under the seventh step, makes his way into the living room and changes. His head is off with the clouds, living in those few minutes, the phantom pressure of Taako’s hand against his neck still as vivid as it was in the moment as he climbs into the semi-uncomfortable sofa bed, grateful at least that it’s big enough for him to stretch out.

Without the grace of alcohol to lull him to bed, Kravitz finds himself staring up at the ceiling for a long, long time.

“Fuck.” He says to the darkness, running a hand across his face. “What am I meant to do now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u so much to @choose_joy for being my proofread on this. also, take a fucking long chapter to apologise for the wait! i hope you're all well in these rough times. i had SO much fun w this chapter, and i hope you enjoyed <3


	6. hungover hangouts

When consciousness comes to Taako the next morning, it does not come kindly. Despite the scene outside being a snapshot of a picture perfect day, with a melody of cheerful birds chirping outside accompanied by rays of warm sunlight peeking through the gaps in his curtains, it is not a nice awakening. As his eyelids open, heavy and awful and protesting against the idea of being awake, he considers firing a magic missile at those birds, if only for a brief moment before he remembers the illegality of that, the overall shitiness of that thought, and the fact that he only has himself to blame for how he feels.

He squeezes his eyes shut and in that moment is gifted a brief memory of the night beforehand, Lup at a bar, ordering a round of six jagerbombs for nobody but the two of them, and adjusts his thinking - nobody but himself and  _ Lup _ to blame.

It’s cold comfort that he knows for a fact Lup will be feeling as rough as he does, because although he  _ loves  _ knowing that she’s reaping what she’s sown, he’s reaping too. And it feels like  _ death. _

Cheers to not being 20 anymore, he supposes. Damn adulthood and having a kid and not drinking a litre of vodka every weekend as a (bad) form of self care.

He rolls over in bed, wrapping the covers around himself like a cocoon, considering staying there for good and allowing himself to waste away, letting someone find his skeletal remains and think,  _ yeah, this hungover dude deserved to go peacefully _ . Thinks that the warm weight of the blanket might be the only company he can bear today, his head ringing as it is and only increasing in agonising echoes the more awake he gets. Really, who decided that clubs have to be that loud? His ears are big - you can turn it down a notch or two, jeez.

And then comes the thought that he knew would come - a worry about Angus, because he’s a  _ parent _ and that doesn’t stop just because he’s 80% alcohol, 20% regret. No matter what state, he’s 100% a dad and although that’s the greatest joy in his life, his one true great work, so on so forth,  _ fuck  _ does his bed seem to get comfier with each second that passes.

As he sits up, and does so with great effort, he lets out a low groan, rubbing a hand down across his face, then through his hair, assessing himself with an undeniable sense of shock and pride that he got  _ changed  _ before bed, as opposed to sleeping all dolled up. Not that it matters for the sake of skincare - he has glamours for that, the easy flick of a wrist for magic to sort his skin out much easier than any expensive serum could. Still, he counts it as a success and takes in the state of the room as his vision adjusts completely, the motion having made him slightly woozy.

As he looks around the room, he notices a pair of shoes on his floor - not his own, a few sizes too big and a few stylistic choices too ugly for his own aesthetic and feels a sense of confusion and panic boiling up within him, wondering who and what and  _ oh god did I take someone home? _

It’s then, with a terrifying bing, and an almost disconcerting ability to somehow manage to come when he needs it most, that Taako’s phone buzzes with a notification from Kravitz - and,  _ hey,  _ Taako thinks,  _ where the fuck did he end up last night?  _ With that curiosity in mind, he picks up his phone as quickly as he can - the fastest he’s moved all morning - and responds to Kravitz.

**crabitz:** How’s the head this morning?

**me:** how good are you at funeralling. I want you 2 b in charge of mine

**me:** set me up a good one. 3 hours of people talking about how fucking brilliant and sexy I was when i was alive and presumably am as a corpse, too

**me:** because yknow what? today is the day that taako croaks it. taako is donezo. send me to whatever life lies next i’ve done my time

**crabitz:** You’re very dramatic.

**me:** not this time bud this is LEGIT. how are you feeling tho btw bud

**crabitz:** I’m fine, Taako. I was designated driver, remember?

“Oh.” Taako says aloud, and one syllable is enough to know his voice sounds like shit, and to get a flashback to him and Merle screaming along to Lizzo. Taako makes a mental note to ask how Merle knows fucking  _ Lizzo _ , and then moves onwards, mumbling to himself as he quickly taps out a response. “What the fuck?”

**me:** you were???????

**crabitz:** I drove you home.

**me:** you did???????????

**crabitz:** You told me to stay at yours. Well, you insisted. So I am still in your house.

**me:** you are??????????

**crabitz:** Yeah, I settled down to bed on your sofa after you confessed your love for me.

“Oh,” he tries to say again. It sounds more like a squeak.

If Taako were one percent more stressed, he’d be having a heart attack, he thinks - the one percent keeping the ol’ thing beating is either pure adrenaline or the fact that he hasn’t updated his will in a hot minute, which, really, he needs to get around to. He stares at the phone in a liminal space between white hot fear and a strange air of serenity, as if accepting his fate, right before his car drives off a cliff, or maybe into a volcano.

But it doesn’t make  _ sense,  _ he thinks, he doesn’t  _ love  _ him, knows that Lup has been up his ass for weeks trying to be his own personal matchmaker but - no, he wouldn’t, surely. Or maybe he did? Or maybe he just called him hot, but surely Kravitz  _ knows  _ that, he has  _ eyes _ , and Taako hasn’t even got his head around the idea that, apparently. the man giving him a breakdown is chilling in his home and, oh god, that means he saw him drunk, and not just drunk but  _ drunk  _ drunk and -

Bing.

**crabitz:** Just kidding. You called me an “emo nerd amalgamation” at one point, though, which was interesting.

Taako feels a metaphorical parachute be pulled, stopping him from splatting against the ground and becoming nothing more than person-mush against the pavement. Feels a sigh of relief leave his body so strong, so utterly relieved that it bypasses and overcomes  _ twin feelings _ , that any person he’s related to even to the 27th degree and four generations back could feel it leave him. He flops back onto his bed and stares up at the ceiling, for a moment even considering  _ praying _ , or at least texting Merle and asking him to blaze a bit extra for Pan today.

Or whatever it is that Merle does under the guise of religion, anyways.

His momentary peace is disrupted by another text, and he’s reminded like a slap to the face that,  _ shit _ , Kravitz is still in his home.

**crabitz:** I just went out to get us coffee – and yes, it’s a vanilla frappe. Are you coming down or do I need to act as your butler?

His heart grows ten sizes, shrinks, twists round itself and might as well explode - he’s too hungover for this, but... what was it he thought earlier about reaping what you sow?  _ Yeah _ , he thinks,  _ that. _

**me:** oh haha ill come down in a min thnx ur great

-

Kravitz is downstairs in Taako’s home, sat watching cartoons with Taako’s son, still wearing one of Taako’s oversized shirts when his fears are confirmed - the man in question doesn’t remember  _ shit _ from last night.

Asking without asking might be a cowardly way to go about it, sure, but if Kravitz is anything, it is methodical and after thinking about it for hours, staring up at a blank white ceiling, he decided that this was the best way to go about it. A way that gives Taako the biggest room to navigate, to be in control, to say what he wants and leave what he doesn’t - Taako is like that, Kravitz knows by now, needing room to navigate and negotiate or freaking out like a bird trapped in a cage that it’s wingspan is too big for.

Taako, to put it metaphorically, needs his room to fly.

As Kravitz sits on the couch, Angus curled up next to him drinking a frappe matching his father’s (without caffeine, though, because he’s a  _ baby _ and Kravitz may not be a parent or a dietician but he figures a kid that little doesn't need a double dose of caffeine and sugar in one), he thinks about where he finds himself. Thinks about how he’s stupid, and a coward, and stupid twice over and so helplessly  _ fucked  _ because he cares more with every moment.

Angus shuffles a little bit closer and leans his head against Kravitz’s arm, as if to prove a point.

He’s  _ stuck _ .

Not stuck in the sense of trapped, but stuck in a way that a picture is pinned to a wall, held there in a place of pride, in a place that he finds himself  _ belonging _ . Belonging isn’t something that comes easy, not something that is found with a simple crush that fades away within a week - which, well, this isn’t, considering the months of infatuation sparked in the moment Taako got rid of that flour from his nose.

And moreover, it’s not just that, either. It’s not  _ just  _ Taako he cares for, but Angus, too. When he sorts through the logic in his mind he can recognise that he’s cared for by them in return, deeply, in the way that they’ve pinned his metaphorical picture to the wall of their family, in the way that his  _ literal  _ picture now hangs over the fireplace, a group picture of him, Taako, Lup and Angus posing at a nearby park, Angus riding atop Kravitz’s shoulders and beaming bright as the sun in the sky behind them,

Stuck not like trapped, not one bit. Stuck like glue that holds together a family, he thinks, in a way that means he doesn’t want to run from this, not one bit.

No matter how much it hurts.

He sighs slightly, and Angus notices. Of course, he notices. “Are you okay, Kravitz? Oh, are you uncomfortable?”

“Hm?” He snaps himself into reality, shaking his head. “Oh, no, buddy, not at all. Sorry, I’m just tired, don’t mind me.”

Angus looks up at him as if it’s an assessment before a curious, cheeky smile breaks across his face. “Was my dad super drunk last night? Is that why you had to stay?” When Kravitz’s face morphs immediately into one of shock and confliction, Angus speaks faster. “If you tell me I  _ swear  _ I won’t tell on you, I just wanna know! He says he never gets drunk!”

At that, Kravitz laughs, shaking his head and taking a long drink of his coffee before putting the take away cup back down carefully. “I mean, if your dad says that to you, who am I to dispute it?”

The boy’s brows furrow behind his cartoonishly round glasses, and by the gods if he isn’t the cutest kid Kravitz has ever seen. “Sir, I’m gonna be a detective one day, that means I have a great detector for people’s BS!”

“Their  _ what?!”  _ He blurts out and if Kravitz hadn’t already finished that mouthful of coffee, it’d be decorating Taako’s lovely, clean living room.

“Their BS! Y’know, big secrets?” He raises an eyebrow to make a point and if he were offered a billion gold to figure out if the kid was genuine or was playing a trick on him, inherited from Taako’s own literal BS, he wouldn’t risk taking the bet. “Anyways,” Angus continues, saving him from that conversation. “What’s it like, being drunk?”

“Uhhh,” Kravitz stalls for time, at once stressed out by and endeared to Angus’ curious nature, not wanting to overstep any conversations that should be have with his dad, not him. “Well, uh, I think you shouldn’t worry about that. You’re not drinking till you’re 21, kiddo, and you’re a way aways from that just now.”

“Hey, you teaching my kid to be a narc or some shit?” Taako’s voice interrupts, and Kravitz is smiling at the familiarity of it before he even looks at him and it’s maybe a good thing, because when he looks at the man in the doorway, his smile only grows.

Taako is leaning against the door in the oversized shirt he shoved himself into last night, and it reaches almost to his knees, the sort of casualwear that Taako reserves only for the comforts of those he’s close to, because of the  _ brand _ he wants to maintain. His long, blonde hair falls in untamed curls and waves to the middle of his back. Warm light breaking into the room falls across his face, showing two tired eyes lit up with a joyous warmth, brown glowing almost gold in the sun, with a crooked smile painted on his lips. His arms are crossed over his chest, brown arms exposed with countless freckles decorating the skin, and a pointed brow is cocked up in a comical expression and, gods -

He has no right being so beautiful _. _

“Morning to you too, sleeping beauty.” Kravitz replies coolly, ignoring the feeling of himself falling further just looking at him, the one step away from domesticity they have, so close but miles away. “You okay?”

“No.” Taako pouts like an upset child, shaking his head as he pats into the room, the frappe purchased for him already in his hand. He flops onto the couch alongside Kravitz and Angus unceremoniously, immediately shuffling towards them for warmth, trying to bury himself under the blanket that Angus lays under, shamelessly trying to wrestle it from his son’s grasp. “I’m a dead man - Ango, give your old man the blanket, I’m deeeaaaad.”

“Kravitz can take you to his morgue then!” Angus retorts, giggling as they morph into play fighting, his little legs kicking towards Taako, dangerously close to the coffee.

“I don’t-'' Kravitz pauses, quickly maneuvering an arm to grab Taako’s drink, moving it away from the battle in progress. “I don’t own the morgue, Angus, but I could arrange it if you need some peace and quiet away from this elf.”

“You wound me.”

“Cry about it.” Kravitz smiles and sends a wink Taako’s way, compelled to lighten the load of his harsh tone - not that Taako is any stranger to harsh tones. Maybe he just likes being  _ nice  _ to him, kicks himself internally for feeling the need to justify every action towards the other man.

“I might!” Taako laughs, winces, keeps laughing. “What  _ happened  _ last night, Crab Sticks? How come you’re here?”

“Someone had to get you home.” He smiles, says it matter-of-factly, fails to stop the smug smile creeping across his face.

“That bad?”

“That bad - the lot of you, actually. Barry hearded Lup and Lucretia home - though, they weren’t  _ too  _ bad. You, Magnus and Merle, on the other hand? Who  _ I  _ took home?” He pauses for dramatic effect, letting his words trail off into the not-quite-silence of the room. Another beat, as both Angus and Taako look at him, expressions identical masks of intrigue. “ _ Yikes.” _

Taako bursts out into a cackle, clapping in pure glee before taking his coffee back from Kravitz and taking a big sip, followed by an equally dramatic pleased sigh. “Them’s my boys.”

“Your boys are with a Mrs. Julia Burnsides, so your boys might have their heads bashed together by now.”

“Oh, hachi machi. I guess I got lucky coming home with you, then, huh?” Taako smiles at him and there’s only half a joke there, really, the gratitude in his smile as plain as day, only solidified in Taako expressing it in the best way he knows how - “How about I get us some food cooking, huh?”

“Can I help?” Kravitz asks, embarrassingly quickly, the urge to spend time with Taako, to be close to him, completely and utterly undeniable. He sees Taako start to protest, and adds on, “please? I, uh, wanna see how you cook… whatever it is you’re cooking.”

“You need me to teach you  _ bacon _ , bud?”

Kravitz is grateful for his complexion hiding the fact that his face flushes at that, a timid smile spreading across his face. “Don’t be snarky with me - I’ll start telling you about how you acted last night.”

“Oh, gods, no, yeah. I don’t wanna know that.” Taako laughs as he moves to his feet, stretching and cracking his spine and Kravitz could watch him in this lazy morning lighting all day, drinking it in, if he was allowed. “C’mon, follow me then, sous chef.”

And, immediately, without question, Kravitz follows.

He remembers the saying ringing in his ears as a teenager, being told off for following in the footsteps of stupid friends before he found himself better friends -  _ would you jump off a cliff if they did too? _

He thinks that, maybe, if it was Taako, he’d be too busy enjoying his company to even notice the cliff.

-

**GROUPCHAT: lets talk about taako**

**lucretia:** So, we all saw that last night, yes?

**merle:** <3 in the Air.

**magnus:** yeaaaaah I saw that

**lup:** that’s why we ended up fighting. i told him to kiss krav and he wouldn’t

**lucretia:** Why do you two insist on physical violence?

**lup:** it was hardly a fight! I think i just slapped his arm

**lup:** also because he’s a little bitch too big for his boots and i kick his ass every time and every time he hopes that i won’t and i always do

**lup:** its good conflict resolution

**magnus:** i agree!

**lup:** THANK YOU, mango. at least someone supports me.

**lup:** ….Barold.

**barry:** Forgive me for not wanting my wife to be put in jail for assault.

**lucretia:** This is beside the point. What in the nine hells are we going to do about them?

**magnus:** knowing our taako theres nothing TO do. whatever we tell him to do he’ll do the opposite

**barry:** I think we just… let it happen, and be there for him if he needs it. should we check upon Kravitz, do you think? We kind of left him to deal with Taako alone last night.

**lup:** realistically, none of us were in positions to look after him either

**lucretia:** True enough.

**magnus:** god i was fucking drunk. and now I am hungover. and i am going to make toy ducks until i feel better. update me if they’ve decided to get married or something

-

Lup and Barry are curled in bed together at this point, and they don’t care that it’s now turned 2PM, because life is good on weekends. Barry has just clambered back in bed with their lunch - delivered from a local restaurant, because were they  _ hell _ cooking when they both feel so rough - and he’s got a smile on his face, warm and soft and dedicated, as always, to the woman sat in front of him, looking like a supermodel somehow in only a shirt stolen from Taako a decade ago (and, god, he can’t believe he’s known them so long) and a pair of shorts.

“You know I could beat both yours and Taako’s asses one-handed, yes?” She wiggles her eyebrows at him and mimes firing off a spell, sound effect to match, before breaking into a cheesy smile as he kisses her forehead.

“I know, babe.” He hums, kissing the side of her head again as she shuffles closer, moving an arm to grab a handful of fries from the bag of take out in front of her. “But… Okay, don’t kick my ass for this one, either, but I think I kind of volunteered  _ us  _ to be the ones to check up on our beloved duo of dumbasses.”

She huffs a sigh as she shoves the fries into her mouth, looking content for a minute as she focuses only on the taste of fast food before turning to look at Barry. “ _ Fuck _ , that food is good.” She wipes her mouth with her sleeve and smiles. “And, yeah, I saw. And you’re right, Taako’s my brother, and, like… I  _ gotta  _ know what happened there, babe.”

“Do you think…” Barry asks, letting the silence fill in the question for him.

“Gods above I do  _ not  _ want to think about it. I mean, no, I don’t think - or, well -” She huffs out another sigh, shorter this time, her forehead creasing as she thinks. “You know what’s wild, Barry? I know Taako as well as I know myself, and I don’t know what the hell he’s doing at the moment.”

“Hm” Barry nods, thinking for a moment. “I mean… I think you know how he’s  _ feeling _ , but… what he’s gonna  _ do?  _ That’s anybody’s guess. And, shit, I love Krav, but I never talked to the guy properly until Taako did.”

“He’s chicken shit, Barold. Too polite for his own good.” She pauses, smirking slightly. “I did… I did tell him to have  _ wicked ways _ though, didn’t I?”

Barry blushes despite himself and shakes his head with a laugh. “Yeah. Not your finest moment, Lup.”

“Debatable -  _ I  _ think I’m hilarious. Especially if Taako forgets it, which he fuckin’ might, considering he was practically taking a dank nap at that point.” She pauses to eat some more and all Barry does is watch with a loving smile, chuckling at her commentary. “Thing is, though… I’m worried about him.”

“I know, love.” He nods. “I am too.”

“I know.” She smiles, sighs again, slower this time and somewhere bordering loving and exasperated. “Dumbass doesn’t realise how many people are on his team… But, because of that, I can’t get him to talk to me. I think… I think Kravitz is our best bet.”

“Dibs not me.” Barry rushes out, practically without taking a breath, breaking into a laugh as Lup looks at him in shock. “Stole your line?”

“Yes, asshole. I guess I’m cupid again.” She rolls her eyes and chuckles, looking around for her phone. “Though… they can wait a few minutes, hm? Nobody’s dead, I presume, because Angus would have told us.”

“Yeah, we can trust the baby to look after the adults.” Barry retorts, then shuts himself up as fast as he ever has as he sees the look on Lup’s face, feeling himself turn to jelly as she looks at him. True love is the way she can kill him with a look, he’s sure of it. 

“I will check up on my brother’s not-boyfriend’s life after I’ve kissed my husband, thank you very much.” She speaks it like a promise and fulfills it immediately, leaning up from her slouched position against his side to press a kiss to his lips, slow and lazy and gentle like Sunday afternoons and the world not extending beyond the two of them. Barry’s hand holds her waist lightly and her’s traces the stubble across his jawline, the two of them smiling into the kiss before long and Barry thinks to himself, for the infinite time, that he’s the luckiest man alive.

When she pulls back, she hums happily and presses one more peck to his lips before grabbing her phone with a determination beyond what a hungover woman should be able to possess. Another reason to love her, he supposes. “Let's get the tea, Barry.”

A beat of silence.

“Am I too old to say that?”

Barry laughs, shaking his head softly as an answer as Lup picks up her phone and texts Kravitz, showing Barry everything as she does so, her husband peering over her shoulder like a curious bird.

**me:** u and taaks okay? i’m doing the rounds and checking on people. so far, everyone is dead. except Julia, because she’s a smart person, and chose not to drink with us.

**Krav (goth from work):** Yeah we’re fine

**me:** … everything okay? no snide comment?

**Krav (goth from work):** Yeah Lup don’t worry

**me:** taako is my brother. i have the worlds best bullshit detector, and you owe me at least 5 commas per message or it means you’re sad

**me:** I know we drifted a little after i left the job but I still know you, bone dog

“Barry, something bad is about to happen.” Lup mumbles, and she sounds serious, something that  _ means something  _ when coming from her.

“What do you mean?” He asks, gentle in tone and believing her inherently, albeit being somewhat confused.

“I have a feeling. Twin feeling. Something is majorly, majorly boned. When have you known Kravitz to text without perfect grammar and punctuation? Without some snarky bullshit?”

“That’s… yeah, that’s a good point. I don’t pick up on this shit, Lup, you know that-”

He’s interrupted, of course, by another message arriving. One they read in sync, their mouths dropping open at the very same time, Barry moving to grab the phone right out of Lup’s hand as if to check that the text won’t disappear into thin air before Lup doges out of his way, swatting at his hands. In a moment, she’s typing with newfound ferocity.

**Krav (goth from work):** Taako tried to kiss me last night, I think.

**Krav (goth from work):** I can’t be sure. He was very drunk, so it didn’t happen. Obviously. I don’t want you to think I put him in any uncomfortable positions.

**me:** holy shit he WHAT

**Krav (goth from work):** I don’t know. I can’t be certain. It was when I was putting him to bed. He made me sit next to him, because he felt ill, and I swear Lup, I was doing nothing more than looking after him and he put his head on my shoulder. Maybe by an accident? I don’t know.

Quietly, her heart breaks just a bit at just how  _ scared  _ he seems, as if he’s waiting for her to yell at him.

**me:** hey hey hey chill bone dog i believe you, if someone looks up gentleman in the dictionary, it’s a picture of you. you’re also seen under Smitten.

**me:** so what happened? did he kiss you?

**Krav (goth from work):** He looked at me, like… I don’t know. Hopefully? And then moved forward. And then he vomited.

**me:** he WHAT

**Krav (goth from work):** He was sick. Mainly not on me. But, like, a little bit. Mostly on the floor. 

**me:** okay……. have you spoke to him about it?

**Krav (goth from work):** No, I don’t plan to. And you won’t either, if you actually do care about me, please.

**Krav (goth from work):** He doesn’t remember a thing and my friendship with him is something I treasure, Lup. Genuinely treasure. And that is something that is not easy to find and I do not want to risk it.

“You’re fucking kidding, right?” Barry asks. She shushes him in one swell motion.

**me:** oh dude come ON

**Krav (goth from work):** No. I’m serious. Please.

**me:** oh come onnnn you so clearly like him

**Krav (goth from work):** Yes. Obviously. I am not stupid. Everyone knows that. Except Taako, it seems.

**Krav (goth from work):** And I do not want to risk the friendship I care about so dearly chasing the whim of someone who was, pardon the language, shitfaced fucking drunk

**me:** DUDE

**Krav (goth from work):** Please. I don’t want to lose him, nor Angus, from my life. Or the rest of you. I’m rather fond of you all, in case you hadn’t noticed

**me:** and we love you too krav. But come on. i know my brother.

**Krav (goth from work):** I don’t doubt that for a moment. But if I like Taako, and if he does, genuinely, feel the same way, I don’t want that to come about from a place of embarrassment and regret.

**Krav (goth from work):** I respect him too much for that. And I know you do, too.

**me:** fuck i hate it when people who aren’t me are right. i won’t say anything. and i’ll keep this between us. and barry. barry may already know. he is crying

“Hey!” Barry sounds genuinely offended at that, nudging Lup. “I’m not crying! I just… Shit, I’m genuinely sad for them.”

“I know. I… Yeah, I am too.  _ Shit.  _ Okay, let me finish this up.”

**me:** hes made me clarify he is not crying

**Krav (goth from work):** Aha. Thanks for that, Lup. I needed the laugh. I owe you one.

**Krav (goth from work):** Thank you.

**me:** look after yourself, bud. he’s a lot of work, but he’s worth it. he’s just… been hurt a lot before.

**Krav (goth from work):** Yeah. Thank you. Speak soon.

A silence falls over the room for a long while, Lup putting her phone face down on the bed and shuffling closer to Barry again, laying her head on his chest and squeezing him close as he wraps his arms around her, a hand carding through her hair gently. They lay like that in the quiet, breathing together, both heads full of thoughts on what they just read, Barry’s filled with an even greater sense of worry for his wife than he had before, knowing the stress she’s feeling is miles more than his own, knowing she feels how Taako feels innately, almost.

“Well,” Lup says after a while. “Fuck.”

-

By the time night rolls around, Kravitz hasn’t left Taako’s house. He was convinced into staying before it had even hit noon, Angus begging him and tugging at his hand, explaining he  _ had  _ to stay and help with the new jigsaw he got and if that weren’t already enough, the adoring smile from Taako watching the two of them turning into a tongue being stuck out at him and a denial of having emotions had him sold, sold enough not just to stay but to fucking move in, if asked.

He stopped himself at that thought, almost laughing aloud at the stupidity of it - he wouldn’t move in, not  _ really _ , not even if things were different in the way he so desperately wants them to be - no, he wouldn’t, he’s too sensible enough for that.

But, maybe more profoundly, Kravitz finds himself realising that he’s so happy that he  _ forgets  _ sensibility, throws it out the window, finds himself filled with such simple joy that he lets himself have those daydreams.

And, luckily for him, Taako seems to be just as happy - even if he  _ is  _ clueless, even if that happiness  _ is  _ rooted only in friendship, even  _ if  _ he never gets a shot of anything more than that, even  _ if…  _ well, anything.

Seeing Taako happy is enough.

It’s later on, Angus in bed already, as the two sit together on stools in the kitchen, eating a plate of snacks Taako had cooked for them, when Taako strikes up another conversation that drills this home.

“Y’know, Crabs,” he pauses, measuring his words slightly. Kravitz knows well enough to let him. “I owe you a life debt.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, homeslice, I think you saved my ass today. I was ready to beef it when I woke up, I swear to god, I should  _ not  _ drink so much.” He laughs, light and airy and still so beautiful. “Taako is good out here once more - here, y’know, being life.”

“Glad I can be of help.” Kravitz leans on the table, his hand on his chin. “Though, y’know, I thought you’d be able to handle your drink better.”

Taako puts a hand to his chest, gasping. “Do you think I’ve got the body to handle as much as I drank last night, Krav? Look at me.” He gestures to himself, as if to prove a point. “My frail twinky body can’t handle that much fuckin’ vodka, my dude!”

“Oh, my gods.” Kravitz laughs, putting his face in his hands before peeking up at Taako again. “Do me a favour, hm? Never say those words again, or I’ll go to the press.”

“Yeah, big man? And say what? The truth?” He’s barely holding back laughter, giggles bursting at the seams.

“No, that you are a plague and a menace to our society.”

“Aw, no, they’ll burn me at the stake for corrupting the kids, and we can’t have that, can we?”

“Sometimes, you know.” He pauses. “I think it’d make my life easier.” 

Taako rolls his eyes and lets the laughter fall freely from his lips, nudging Kravitz’s leg with his foot. “Dumbass, you don’t mean that. You love me, really.” He says it soft and almost hopeful, or maybe Kravitz is hearing things, or maybe he’s not, and it’s just another reminder that Taako doesn’t know the half of how loved he is. “I can’t blame you, though. I’m the Paris of people.”

And the thing is? He’s right - Kravitz can’t blame himself, either. Taako is  _ so much _ wrapped up as perfect as it is messy, all in one person, and Kravitz loves him as much as a friend as he likes him as  _ more  _ than that, the appreciation for Taako’s existence running so much impossibly deeper than just a crush. He cares about Taako, Taako makes him happy, Taako makes him  _ care free _ and that’s a rarity. Taako is messy and awkward and blunt and sarcastic and so kind and so full of love and creativity and knowledge and so much more and…

The thought that’s been in his head all day, ever since he laid eyes on him sums it up best, doesn’t it?

Taako is beautiful. He is a beautiful piece of existence, and Kravitz is lucky enough to know him, be friends with him, be liked by him in that way, if not in any other. It’s… not everything he’d want, not by a longshot, it would be stupid to pretend otherwise. But he gets a piece of him for his own, has been lucky enough for Taako to give that to him, one of the greatest gifts he’s ever been given. A genuine treasure.

No, Kravitz can’t blame himself at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey ! i am SUPER sorry for this taking a month to update - the whole world is, well, How It Is and i've been having a rough time of it recently, but hopefully i can get back onto updating more regularly - again, sorry to keep you waiting for so long!! thank you for taking the time to read <3

**Author's Note:**

> this AU is over on my twitter in full, @goldciiffs. my last fic is also going to be part of this, so basically: i am just a mess with uploading things!
> 
> but this was SO FUN to make over Twitter so i thought id bring it here and go full on my bullshit.
> 
> thank you so much in particular to my friend clare for supporting me in writing this via ko-fi!


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